Chuck: [after the super secret computer was downloaded into his head] Did you spike the punch?
Morgan: Something goes wrong, you blame me. After all these years, where's the trust? [pause] Yes, I did.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Chuck: [Sarah, disguised as a ninja, is stealing his computer] Please... not the computer.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Chuck: Hi! Hi... phone trouble again?
Sarah: Yeah. I'm not sure I'm able to receive calls, 'cause I never got one from you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Casey: [after he shoots Bryce] Don't move.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Chuck: I understand that. This is a prism express laptop, okay. We sell this at our store. It has a DOS over ride. I think I can do this. I can do this, please.
Sarah: He's our best shot.
Casey: Go.
Chuck: Mr. bomb, meet Mr. Internet.
Casey: He's searching for porn.
[computer crashes]
Sarah: You did it.
Chuck: I did it. I did it. I... I defused a real bomb. This was a real... What if I was wrong?
Casey: Don't puke on the c-4 , huh?

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Sarah: I was wondering if you'd show me around... that is, if you're free?
Morgan: He's free. He's got nothing but time on his hands. He's very available.
Chuck: Apparently, my schedule's wide open.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Chuck: Do you like music?
Sarah: I guess.
Chuck: You guess? What's your favorite band?
Sarah: Uhh...
Chuck: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Sarah: God, I'm not funny, I don't listen to music... this must be your worst date ever, right? (pause) I was waiting for you to say no.
Chuck: Sorry, I kinda zoned out there for a second. No, no, no, no! God, no. I've had much worse dates... experiences overall, with women. In eleventh grade...
Sarah: Eleventh grade? Oh, you have to go back that far? Come on!
Chuck: I don't date that much.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Morgan: Stop the presses! Who is that!? Vicky Vale!
Chuck: Vicky Vale, Vi- Vicky Vale, Vickity Vickity, Vicky Vale, Vi- Vicky Va...
[sees Sarah; drops the phone]
Sarah: I hope I'm not interrupting.
Chuck: Uh no, not at all. That's from-it's from Batman.
Sarah: [smiles] Because that makes it better?
Morgan: Ahh, Hi. Hey, I'm Morgan. And this is, uh, this is Chuck.
Sarah: Wow, I didn't think people still named their kids Chuck. Or, uh, Morgan, for that matter.
Chuck: My parents were sadists, and carnival freaks found him in a dumpster.
Morgan: But they raised me as one of their own.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Jeff: What if you're the unwitting target of a ninja vendetta, and he returns tonight to strangle you with his nunchucks?
Chuck: ...That's super, Jeff. Thanks for thinking outside the box on that one. Here I thought I couldn't get any more freaked out.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Sarah: So wait, you call him Captain Awesome?
Chuck: Yeah, wait till you meet him. Everything he does is awesome. Climbing mountains, jumping out of planes, flossing....
Sarah: That's funny.
Chuck: Well, I'm a funny guy.
Sarah: Clearly! Which is good, because I am not funny.
Chuck: Is that your big secret, by the way? 'Cause I've been sitting here trying to figure out what's wrong with you...
Sarah: Oh, plenty...believe me.
Chuck: I was thinking "either she's a cannibal, or she's really not that funny," and I was pulling for cannibal 'cause I'd never met one before...
Sarah: Uh, not a cannibal, but I did just come out of a long relationship, so I may come with baggage.
Chuck: Well, I could be your very own...baggage handler.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Sarah: Come any closer and I shoot!
Casey: ...You shoot him, I shoot you, I leave both your bodies here and go out for a late night snack. I'm thinking maybe pancakes.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
Sarah: Chuck, those pictures that you saw were encoded with secrets, government secrets. If you saw them, then you know them.
Chuck: There were thousands of them.
Casey: Wait a minute. You're telling me all of our secrets are in his head?
Sarah: Chuck is the computer.

  --  Chuck Versus the Intersect [1.01]
%
General Beckman: Our most valuable secrets have been sent to an idiot.
Director Graham: At least they weren't sent to his friend.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
[Casey tackles a shoplifter]
Chuck: Casey, Casey, Casey! No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's just a video game, okay?! Lives are not in danger and the country is still safe!
Morgan: Wow. The guy's been here 24 hours and taking the job way more seriously than me.
Chuck: That's because he's crazy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
Casey: What did you tell Chuck?
Sarah: That you're a cold-blooded killer. Was I lying?
Casey: No.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
Ellie: Wait a second! Morgan has met her and I haven't?
Morgan: Well, he confides in me, Ellie. He tells me his deepest darkest secrets...which you could too, by the way.
Ellie: Here's one. I loathe you.
Chuck: That's not a secret.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
Chuck: [about Sarah meeting his family for the first time] Meeting the family's kind of a big step, if our relationship were remotely real.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
Ellie: How did you get in here?
Morgan: Chuck's window or, as I like to call it, the "Morgan Door."
Ellie: I'm gonna go close the window.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
Casey: This is how this is gonna work. I'm gonna go over there, rescue Sarah, capture Dr. Zarnow, shoot anybody who gets in my way. You, you're gonna stay here.
Chuck: So in this plan I basically do nothing?
Casey: Yup.
Chuck: [dramatically] ...Let's do this.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
Casey: I don't kid about quiches.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
Chuck: [to Sarah] Look, I'm not accusing you of anything...today. Yesterday yes, I may have laid it on a little thick with the accusing. But I'm really sorry about that. Instead of not trusting you I should have been thanking you for saving my life and protecting the country and for making really tasty gourmet wieners.

  --  Chuck Versus the Helicopter [1.02]
%
Chuck: I've got some bad news. Big Mike wants us to fix all of this junk in two days or he's going to give the assistant store manager position to Tang. I'm sorry guys. And Anna.
Anna: "Guys" is fine; I don't mind.
Chuck: No, it's not right. We need to come up with something non-gender specific. How do we feel about "team"?
Anna: Fellow Nerd Herders?
Lester: The Lesters?
Jeff: Chuck's Stable of Hoes?

  --  Chuck Versus the Tango [1.03]
%
Chuck: You know, if we were really dating, this would be the part where I'd be forced to kiss you good night.
Sarah: Forced? Would it be so bad?
Chuck: I'm sure I could suffer through it.
Sarah: Me, too.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tango [1.03]
%
Chuck: [regarding the pictures of dead people] Why are these people sleeping?
Casey: They're not sleeping.
Sarah: They were killed, Chuck, and we wanna know why.
Chuck: [putting the pictures down] I have no idea.
Casey: Well, look again.
Chuck: I would rather not. It's kind of creepy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tango [1.03]
%
Chuck: My life took a little detour senior year when our old friend Bryce Larkin discovered stolen tests under my bed and was kind enough to alert administration.
Sarah: Did you steal the tests?
Chuck: I thought it was kind of implied that I'm a decent person!
Sarah: Well, we all make mistakes.
Chuck: And I've made plenty; that just wasn't one of them. But, hey, then Bryce sent me a whole database of government secrets that are now locked in my brain, keeping me in a constant state of fear, danger, and anxiety, sooo...I'd say we're even.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tango [1.03]
%
Morgan: Because tonight Chuck Bartowski is boldly going where none of us have gone before...To have intercourse with a beautiful woman.
Anna: Speak for yourself.
[Everyone stares at Anna]

  --  Chuck Versus the Tango [1.03]
%
Casey: [after throwing a microwave at someone's head] Now that's what I call moving some merchandise.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tango [1.03]
%
La Ciudad: I think your hand is supposed to be on my hip.
Chuck: Right. Apparently I learned the girls' part of this dance. Would you mind leading?

  --  Chuck Versus the Tango [1.03]
%
Chuck: The guy in the furry sweater forgot to mention something.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wookiee [1.04]
%
Morgan: Chuck, I know what a third wheel is. I know it's me. Give, give me a chance here, man. Let, let me be a fourth wheel. For once. Or maybe I can be any other even number.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wookiee [1.04]
%
Carina: Now, see that man over there? Payman Alahi, his house, his party, his diamond...for now.
Chuck: Are we-are you talking about Senor Wookiee over there?

  --  Chuck Versus the Wookiee [1.04]
%
Chuck: I count six SVB54 explosion protected security cameras with infrared surveillance.
Sarah: Did you have a flash?
Chuck: No, they sell them at the Spy Shop in the Buy More plaza.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wookiee [1.04]
%
Chuck: How am I supposed to know that Carina has a remote control jet ski? It's usually not an option in real life.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wookiee [1.04]
%
Chuck: I need to ask you a favor, and feel free to say no, and by that I mean say no. But... uh... could you fix Morgan up with Carina? Make sure you really exaggerate "no" so they can lip read it. They're a little lame, but I think they can crack "no"
Sarah: You know, that is a great idea.
Chuck: No, it's not. No is the answer. You're supposed to say no.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wookiee [1.04]
%
Morgan: Hey, Chuck?
Chuck: Yes, Morgan?
Morgan: You know what? If our relationships don't work out, it's okay, 'cause we got each other, don't we?
Chuck: That's really, really sad.
Morgan: I know.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wookiee [1.04]
%
[After Chuck has food delivered to their stakeout vehicle.]
Casey: The idea behind a stakeout is to remain inconspicuous, you moron.
Chuck: Uh, hello? That's why I used an alias.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp [1.05]
%
Sarah: Stay in the car.
Chuck: My four favorite words.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp [1.05]
%
Morgan: I'll let myself out.
Ellie: ...My four favorite words.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp [1.05]
%
Chuck: So listen, I've been thinking a lot about last night. And you know, you guys were talking about how this spy could be...valuable to us. So I was thinking what if we could convince her to, I don't know, like give up...some secret stuff or...
Sarah: You mean defect?
Chuck: Defect, yes! People do that kind of thing all the time, right? The Hunt for Red October...uh...White Nights. [after Casey stares blankly at him] White Nights? Gregory Hines...Baryshnikov...dancing their way to freedom?
Casey: [sarcastically] Well, as long as you've done serious research on the subject. You get her to defect, I'll help rescuing her brother personally.
Sarah: Why are you bringing this up?
Chuck: Well, she sorta, uh, just...called me.
Casey: She called you? Where?
Chuck: At the Buy More. And I think she might been in the store too, because she knew my every move. She even knew that I had mustard on my tie.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp [1.05]
%
Mei-Ling Cho: [preparing to rescue Mei-Ling's brother] Good, every warm body helps.
Chuck: I'm sorry, wha-me? No, no, no, no. Look as much as I wish that I could help you, I can't. I made plans with my sister. They are non-negotiable.
[everyone looks at him]
Chuck: But of course, I know that you wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me. I want to be with my sister and you obviously really want to be with your brother. We're like one big wacky transatlantic family.
[pause]
Chuck: I owe you. I'm in.
Sarah: Okay fine, but you don't leave the van under any circumstances.
Chuck: I just need to be home by eight. If that's at all possible.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp [1.05]
%
Ellie: There's no need. I figured it out. I know.
Chuck: You do?
Ellie: You haven't had a girlfriend for a long time and you're in love.
Chuck: Yeah. I am?
Ellie: But lying to me? Missing our most important day like...like you're in high school? I mean do you even know that Morgan's about to be fired?
Chuck: Ellie, I can't apologize enough. I...everything that you're saying is right. I guess that I'm just so, um, I'm so head over heals that I'm not thinking straight, you know?
Ellie: Listen, I know that this is the first big thing to happen to you in while. And you feel like your life's not going anywhere, your job's not either, and you're not Superman out there saving the day. But you're a good person and you're a good brother and you're a good friend. Don't lose that.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp [1.05]
%
Casey: You! What do I have to do to get timely intel out of you, Bartowski?
Chuck: Look, I briefed Sarah last night, alright?
Casey: [sarcastically] Oh, I bet you did, slugger.
Chuck: I thought we're all suppose to be part of the same team here, huh, Team Chuck?
Casey: We are, but I'm starting to feel like the guy that always gets picked last, and I don't like feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid!

  --  Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]
%
Anna: [as Morgan eats old food out of the refrigerator] Morgan's so awesome! He can eat anything...

  --  Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]
Morgan: What happened, Chuck? You used to be cool.
Chuck: I used to be cool? When, when was that? When we were 13? Well, I hate to go changing on you, buddy, but if you hadn't noticed we are now, chronologically speaking, adults. So, unless you want to work retail for the rest of your life and, by the way, drag me down with you in the process, I would suggest that you grow up!

  --  Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]
%
Laszlo: [pointing a gun at Chuck] I was framed! Okay? You have to believe me, I am not murderer!
Chuck: Okay! Okay! I believe you! But FYI, you're kinda acting like a murderer.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]
%
Chuck: Sarah was just telling me that if she were stranded on a desert island, she would bring roast beef.
Morgan: She didn't say roast beef.
Chuck: Oh, she totally... she completely said roast beef.
Morgan: oh, that's terrible. Oh, that's a terrible sandwich, it's a terrible sandwich. You know, she's smart, and she's sexy, and kudos on her costume, looked fantastic, but who brings roast beef to a deserted island? That's a terrible choice. You gotta dump her

  --  Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]
%
Chuck: Look, if it's cool with you, could you hang out for a little while? Look, Awesome and Ellie think that I'm... Kind of getting lucky in here, and I wouldn't want to disappoint... Them.
Sarah: Uh, how long do you want me to stay?
Chuck: 42 minutes and 15 seconds? Arcade Fire's first album. It's like an auditory aphrodisiac. You're not really ready for it yet.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]
%
Awesome: There comes a time in every man's life when he reaches, well, a crossroads. A time when he must ask himself, "Am I a tucker?"

  --  Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]
%
Chuck: Something came up.
Big Mike: Is that something more important than being assistant manager? Is it more important than handing over your promotion to Tang? [He becomes distraught] Please, Chuck, is it more important than Big Mike's relaxation?!?
Chuck: Look, Big Mike, there are just some things in life that are just more important than the Buy More.
Big Mike: You mean like fishin' and danish?

  --  Chuck Versus the Sandworm [1.06]
%
Morgan: Chuck, we have an emergency. We need to talk.
Chuck: I'm on the phone.
Morgan: Shh, not here, not here; there are spies at the Buy More.
Chuck: [hangs up the phone] Spies, really?
Morgan: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tang's minions, they're everywhere! He's like the dark Lord Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Only instead of the ring of power he's taken over control of the assistant manager-ship.
Chuck: Yeah, from me, right thanks for the reminder.
Morgan: You got it, man. Listen we need your help, Chuck.
Chuck: Me, what am I suppose to do? I'm just...
Morgan: One small hobbit? So thought Frodo Baggins, my friend; so thought Frodo Baggins!

  --  Chuck Versus the Alma Mater [1.07]
%
Chuck: I'm sorry, but was Harry wearing the new assistant manager polo shirt?
Morgan: It's monogrammed.
Chuck: He must be stopped.

  --  Chuck Versus the Alma Mater [1.07]
%
Sarah: It says here the crossbow is his weapon of choice.
Chuck: Oh, what, slingshot's too ineffective?

  --  Chuck Versus the Alma Mater [1.07]
%
Chuck: No more Wednesday/Friday surf and turf?
Morgan: Harry Tang is drunk with power!
Anna: He could have an accident.
[everyone looks at her]
Anna: I'm just sayin', I know a guy, very reasonable...His rates, I mean, not him.
Morgan: Way to think outside of the box, Anna, me likey! What do you say Chuck?
Chuck: Are you two crazy? What? No! I'm not gonna have a guy rubbed out just because he upsets our lunch routine!
. . .
Chuck: You didn't offer to kill Harry for Anna did you?
Casey: No. Why, you want me to kill him?
Chuck: No! No, just curious...

  --  Chuck Versus the Alma Mater [1.07]
%
Casey: You sure it was Magnus you saw?
Chuck: Gee, I don't know, Casey, how many psycho archers do you know?

  --  Chuck Versus the Alma Mater [1.07]
%
Sarah: Chuck's not wrong very often.
Casey: But he's annoying all the time.

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
[Ellie barges into Chuck's bedroom, influenced by truth serum]
Ellie: I have known him since the day he was born (obviously)!
[she sits on the bed between Chuck and Sarah]
Ellie: When people asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would always say the same thing..."big boy." How cute is that?
Chuck: Ellie, you're killin' me here.
Ellie: And now he is a big boy.  And I can tell that he is, because he is with a big...[looks at Sarah's chest] BIG girl.
Awesome: Sorry, guys. Don't mean to muck up your mojo. [to Chuck] I tried to stop her.
Chuck: Is she drunk?
[Awesome shrugs, bewildered]
Ellie: Chuck, you need a haircut. It's starting to make funny animal shapes.
Awesome: Let's go, babe; these two need their privacy. Huh?
Ellie: When you were seven, I told you that the burglar stole the money from your piggy bank? That was a lie, it was me. At the time I felt it was very important to have a New Kids fanny pack.
Sarah: Ellie, are you okay? Have you done anything out of the ordinary?
Ellie: ...Words taste like peaches.

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
Morgan: I don't have time for this, I'm a very busy man-boy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
Chuck: Sarah, you know when you think you're going to die, and your whole life is supposed to flash in front of you? That didn't exactly happen for me yesterday. In fact, mostly it was just a list... that I saw. A list of stuff that I haven't done and things that I haven't had a chance to say. So today... today, I want to start crossing things off of my list. And this is the first thing that I promised myself that I'd do. We need to break up.
Sarah: What?
Chuck: You know, you know, like, fake-fake break up our pretend relationship. I just can't do this anymore, you know? The longer we go, the longer we keep trying to fool people into believing that we're a real Couple... the person I keep fooling the most is me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
Lou: I like you. I like almost everything about you. I think you're cute, you're funny. Our vast height difference intrigues me. But want to know what I don't like?
Chuck: Very, very much.
Lou: I think anyone who cheats on his girlfriend is a big, fat, stupid jackass.
Chuck: Exactly, I concur.
Lou: Of course you do, which is why I like you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
Chuck: You're giving me crap about lighting some candles and you come in wearing that?
Sarah: What, this? This, this is part of my cover.
Chuck; Well, it doesn't cover a thing.
Sarah: And what if Ellie or Awesome were to walk in? This is exactly what a girlfriend would wear to seduce her boyfriend I am just being professional.
Chuck: Yeah... The world's oldest profession.

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
Sarah: [about the antidote] Here!
Chuck: No, no it's for Ellie.
Sarah: No, I'm sorry, Chuck, there's no debate. It has to be you. You're the Intersect.
Chuck: I won't take it knowing that Ellie will die without it; that both of you have been poisoned too!
Casey: You're a good person, Chuck, and I respect that, but I have a job to do, so take it before I shove it down your throat!
Chuck: Okay, okay. Fine, fine I'll do it.
Sarah: Thank you.
Chuck I'll pretend to agree to take it and then I'll run like hell to my sister's room, and make her take it. Why did I just say that out loud?
Sarah: It's the poison. It makes you tell the truth!
Casey: You do that, I'll give chase, put a gun to your head, threaten to pull the trigger if you don't take it!
Chuck: Would you really shoot me?
Casey: No.
Chuck: Yeah, don't waste a bullet, we're already dead!

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
Chuck: You know, if I had a blog, this would be a really big day for me. Do my laundry. Check. Save my sister's life. Check. Save my own life.  Final entry.
Sarah: I am so sorry about all of this.
Chuck: That's okay, it's okay. It's not ideal but I've lived a pretty good life. I mean, how many guys can say they landed a helicopter and saved the lives of innocent people?
Casey: Courageous and honorable members of the United States military.

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
Chuck: [to Sarah, under the influence of a truth serum] God you're so pretty! And Casey, your jaw was chiseled by Michelangelo himself.
Casey: Thank you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
[knocking on the bad guy's door after being exposed to truth serum]
Reardon Paine: Yes? Who is it?
Chuck: The NSA, CIA, and me! Who's a little tougher to explain...

  --  Chuck Versus the Truth [1.08]
%
Sarah: Look Chuck, I been thinking about our breakup and I'm not sure it's the best idea.
Chuck: Miss me already, huh?
Sarah: Well, you know, for the cover.  It makes things easier.
Chuck: Well I guess your job just got a little bit harder.
Sarah: Look, I'm sorry you thought there was something between us. It's very common in these situations to perceive a connection that isn't there.
Chuck: Of course I get it. It's the old story, you know, guy gets supercomputer in his brain, beautiful CIA agent is sent  to protect him and then she tells him while under the spell of a truth serum she's not interested. I get it. But for me the emotional roller coaster is a little much so I think I would rather find something a little less common, like say I don't know,  a real relationship.
Sarah: Okay, Chuck if that's what you want then I'm going to have to sell it. [Sarah starts crying]
Chuck: You okay? [Sarah leaves and is spotted by Jeff and Lester]
Jeff: Heart breaker.
Lester: Dream maker.
Jeff: Love taker.
Lester: Don't you mess around with Chuck.

  --  Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami [1.09]
%
Beckman: I don't like the idea of this breakup at all. What the hell happened?
Casey: She got dumped.
Sarah: We decided that it would be best for Chuck to date a civilian. It will help secure his cover in the event that someone IDs me.
Casey: Yeah, because she got dumped.
General Beckman: Let me get this straight. Some woman comes in off the street and starts dating the asset, and this doesn't strike either of you as suspicious.
Sarah: It's not completely unfeasible. He is a reasonably charming guy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami [1.09]
%
[about Chuck's guitar pin bug]
Stavros: I left mine in the 80s.
Chuck: Yeah, I kept mine.

  --  Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami [1.09]
%
Chuck: Is it me or does our government never want me to have sex again?

  --  Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami [1.09]
%
Chuck: Morning handsome, nice work last night.
Casey: Hey Loverboy! Hasn't that mirror suffered enough already?
Chuck: I am in the bathroom! Okay? Is there nothing sacred to you people?
Casey: Just the right to bear arms.

  --  Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami [1.09]
%
Chuck: [while on a date with Lou] It wouldn't be an official Chuck Bartowski date if the girl didn't leave injured in some way.

  --  Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami [1.09]
%
[Chuck and Sarah try to defuse the bomb]
Chuck: Okay. Okay, Intersect: flash! Show me how to do this.
Sarah: Did you flash?
Chuck: No, nothing. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon baby, don't fail me now, c'mon.
Sarah: Okay Chuck, that's enough. Run; I'm gonna try and stay and defuse it.
Chuck: No, I'm not leaving you here.
Sarah: Go, that is an order.
Chuck: [Indignant] No.
[Sarah draws her pistol and aims it at Chuck]
Sarah: I said go!
Chuck: Oh, I see, so you're gonna shoot me to prevent me from being blown up; that's a great plan.
Sarah: Why are you so stubborn?
Chuck: Actually, I consider this a rare moment of courage. I don't know where it's coming from. I guess you just bring out the worst in me.
Sarah: And you in me.
Chuck: It was nice knowing ya.
[Sarah looks up at him desperately when the timer ticks below five seconds and impulsively kisses him. They both stop as they realize that the bomb had failed to detonate]
Sarah: [out of breath] Well, the good news is we're alive...and the bad news is that this is kind of an uncomfortable moment right now.
Chuck: This is completely comfortable on my end...just saying.

  --  Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami [1.09]
%
Casey: [Bryce is using Chuck at a shield] I've got a shot.
Chuck: No, you don't!
Casey: You'll be fine.
Chuck: No shooting, no shooting! I'm susceptible to bullets!

  --  Chuck Versus the Nemesis [1.10]
%
Bryce: Hello, Chuck.
Chuck: Sarah and Casey are right inside; one girlish scream from me and they go into combat mode!

  --  Chuck Versus the Nemesis [1.10]
%
Awesome: So, Thanksgiving. We're all supposed to say what we're thankful for. I'm thankful for the most beautiful woman in the world, Ellie Bartowski.
Morgan: Good call.
Anna: Morgan.
Morgan: Aww, right.
Ellie: That's sweet, honey. I am thankful for my family and my friends.
Casey: I pass.
Awesome: Chuck.
Chuck: I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin is dead. And is not currently in my bedroom making out with my new girlfriend.
Casey: [gets the hint and leaves the table] Excuse me, please.
Morgan: Wow, buddy, that was, um, really dark.
Awesome: And specific.

  --  Chuck Versus the Nemesis [1.10]
%
Sarah: [to Bryce] Why Chuck?
Chuck: Yeah! Why Chuck?

  --  Chuck Versus the Nemesis [1.10]
%
Chuck: Isn't it somebody else's turn to be the human shield?

  --  Chuck Versus the Nemesis [1.10]
%
Bryce: Is this your place?
Chuck: Ellie and I live here, yeah.
Bryce: You live with your sister? What happened? Chuck, what happened to you? The guy who wanted to be the software billionaire? Bill Gates with style.
Chuck: You got me kicked out of Stanford, Bryce!

  --  Chuck Versus the Nemesis [1.10]
%
Casey: Well, should I pop some popcorn or beat the answer out of you?
Bryce: No thanks, I'll talk.
Casey: Darn.

  --  Chuck Versus the Nemesis [1.10]
%
Chuck: Ah, Roulette. My favorite game aside from Call of Duty.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Chuck: Look, it's also kind of a... kind of a thank you for believing me when you had good reason not to.
Sarah: Well, it's my job, you know. It's what I do. It's the one thing I'm good at.
Chuck: Really? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you're good at a lot of things.
Sarah: Well, as you can see from everything that happened with Bryce, I'm not so good at relationships.
Chuck: I guess that makes two of us.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Chuck: Did you kiss me that night because you thought we were going to die, and mine were the most convenient lips around, or was it actually about me?
Sarah: What happened was a mistake. One I won't make again.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Casey: Decided to take up bird watching?
Chuck: Just breathing in the view.
Casey: Hmm.
Chuck: I know that grunt. Yeah, that's the number 7, right?  Skeptical with a side of cynicism.
Casey: Just clearing my throat. Just couldn't help but notice Agent Walker's car isn't in her usual spot.
Chuck: Oh, I didn't, uh...It's weird. I didn't notice, I didn't see that at all. Fine maybe I did. So? Have you talked to Sarah lately?
Casey: Agent Walker and I don't do a lot of fraternizing off hours. Guess we'll just have to see.
Chuck: See...See What? Why? See what?
Casey: See if she's had enough of the good life with you. See if she's hightailed it to wherever your buddy Bryce is hiding himself.
Chuck: Is that, uh, is that an option?
Casey: Oh, Don't worry. I hear there's a great selection of new handlers in this year's CIA Christmas catalog.
Chuck: Are there? Thanks a lot.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Morgan: A relationship is built on trust, Chuck. Sex and trust. Am I right?
Chuck: Yeah, yeah, two big prerequisites I guess.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Anna's Father: So, Morgan, you work at Buy More.
Morgan: Yes sir, that's correct. And Anna will tell you that I got the old nose to the grind stone. Not literally, of course, because that would hurt.
Anna's Father: And is that where you see yourself in, say, five years?
Morgan: That's a tough question. I can tell you where I don't want to see myself in five years. Prison. Or under house arrest. Doing anything that involves a lot of chopping. Deep knee bends. No nudity.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Casey: Bang up job, Walker. Now I'm gonna give you one last chance to come clean. Did you or did you not compromise yourself and the Intersect?
Sarah: Do you ever just want to have a normal life? Have a family? Children?
Casey: The choice we made to protect something bigger than ourselves is the right choice. Hard as that is for you to remember sometimes.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Chuck: [seeing a knife in Sarah's alarm clock] Not a morning person I see.
Sarah: Depends on the morning.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Sarah: [about the GPS coordinates to his car] Tell him, Casey!
Chuck: [imitating Sarah] Tell me, Casey!

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Casey: Chuck! Sarah!
Sarah: Casey, What are you doing here?
Casey: Someone needs to protect the Intersect.
Chuck: Very thoughtful. Thank you very much, I guess.
Casey: Plus, I didn't want to miss any gun play. Come on.

  --  Chuck Versus the Crown Vic [1.11]
%
Casey: Why's it so important to you Chuck? Why the hell do you care so much about me and Ilsa?
Chuck: I don't...I don't know man, OK, I juse-I think it'd be nice to know that you had a life before...this.  I just figure that if a guy like you can find love, no offense, Casey, then maybe there's hope for me too, maybe this spy business isn't as screwed up as I think it is.
Casey: Hmmm.
Chuck: Hmmm? That's, that's okay, you know what? If you want to go through life all emotionally constipated and alone then suit yourself. I'll let you go back to protecting the greater good you freaking robot!
Casey: I met her in a flower market. In Rome. Ilsa was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
Chuck: I knew it. IT'S ALIVE!

  --  Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover [1.12]
%
Ilsa: My agency's tried everything to take him to trial, but his organization's air tight. Totally legit from the outside. The only way we could take him down was...
Casey: By screwing it out of him? How, um...French.

  --  Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover [1.12]
%
Sarah: Ellie are you sure you're okay?
Ellie: It's just that, I have both feet in and Devon has only one foot in. So then, it's just me taking care of three feet and I want it to be us, you know, taking care of four feet. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Sarah: Completely.
Ellie: Of course you do, of course you do. I'm gonna go get us some more wine.

  --  Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover [1.12]
%
Casey: Relax, I think I see a scenario where we both get out of here with acceptable losses.
Chuck: What exactly is your version of acceptable?
Casey: Breaks and punctures, possible loss of a limb, no major organ damage.

  --  Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover [1.12]
%
Chuck: Just Breath, Casey, breath, breath...or growl. Growling also works. Very good. Very, very good.

  --  Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover [1.12]
%
Chuck: [knocks down a bad guy while tied to Casey's back] How do ya like me now suckah!

  --  Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover [1.12]
%
Casey: [to Lester and Jeff] We could do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is I shove his foot up your ass.
Jeff: What's the hard way?
Casey: I use my foot!

  --  Chuck Versus the Marlin [1.13]
%
Morgan: This is just getting a little personal.
Casey: Right, new tactic. You finish the story or I put your head through the wall.
Morgan: Okay, someone wasn't hugged enough as a child.

  --  Chuck Versus the Marlin [1.13]
%
Lizzie: You're no hot dog maker!
Sarah: Bring it on, pita girl!

  --  Chuck Versus the Marlin [1.13]
%
Awesome: Where are you, Chuck? I need the ring. This is not awesome!

  --  Chuck Versus the Marlin [1.13]
%
Chuck: Look, what if I surrender and you run. I mean I'm going into a cell anyway. What's the difference?
Sarah: Torture.
Chuck: Okay, no surrender.

  --  Chuck Versus the Marlin [1.13]
%
Awesome: Way to go Chuck, I always knew you could handle my family jewels.

  --  Chuck Versus the Marlin [1.13]
%
Casey [after driving car through restaurant] Somebody order drive-thru?

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
Morgan: Before you go running off to change the world, I think that I should tell you that I'm currently on my way to securing 45 Twinkies. Now, by which I mean 45 bags of Twinkies.
Chuck: Why would you do that?
Morgan: Good question. Because Jeff said he'd all of them in under 3 minutes. Now he thinks he's eating 45, but technically speaking he agreed to eat 90.
Chuck: Ninety? Nobody can eat 90 Twinkies.
Morgan: That's what I said. He may die! Or at least do extreme damage to several major organs!
Chuck: This I have to see!
Casey: Good to see you, Bartowski.
Chuck: Hey, Casey, 90 Twinkies in three minutes. Be there.
Morgan: Jeff might die!

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
Ellie: Any revelations? Any idea what you're going to do next?
Chuck: Um, yeah, a few.
Ellie: If you say pilot the Millennium Falcon I will hit you.
Chuck: Why would I say that? That's absurd. I'm gonna be a ninja assassin.
Ellie: No. Try again.
Chuck: Ummm, Olympic....
Ellie: Uh-uh.
Chuck [pause]: Secret agent.
Ellie: This is what happens when you sit in front of the television set too long.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
Casey: [Colt is dangling Chuck out a window] Let the geek go!
Sarah: Wait! Not out the window.
Casey: Aren't we picky?
Sarah: Why didn't you stay in the car?
Chuck: You know what? It's never safe in the car!

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
Chuck: I don't think I'm really cut out for a job where you disarm a bomb, steal a diamond, and then jump off a building.
Sarah: Well, you could have fooled me.
Chuck: That's very kind of you to say, but I'm pretty sure my girlish screams in the face of danger gave me away.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
Chuck: You want to go on a date some time? I mean a date without aliases, and spy gear, and a mission.
Sarah: Like a real date?
Chuck: Yeah.
Sarah: Chuck, I-I'm still a CIA agent. And there are a hundred reasons why I shouldn't do that.
Chuck: What do you have to lose? In a week, you're going to be undercover somewhere in some place like Jakarta, in a knife fight with some evil doer and in that exact moment you're going to wish you would have spent one last night of fun with me.
Sarah: ...Okay.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
Sarah: What about me?
Chuck: [chuckles] You're really going to make me say it aren't you?
[Sarah smiles]
Chuck: Wow, okay. Fine. All right we'll play it your way...A girl like you, or more appropriately, a woman like you. Considering the fact that you could probably kick the ass of everyone in this joint. And a-a smart one at that. Not to mention, cool...and extremely beautiful. And-and...you can stop me any time with the compliments if they're becoming...you know
Sarah: No, that was, uh, very...sweet.
Chuck: "Sweet?" Golly gee, thanks for making me feel like I'm 8.
Sarah: [slight chuckle] Well, you're not so bad yourself.
Chuck: [sarcastically] Please, I'm fantastic.
Sarah: [seriously] Yeah. You are.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
Chuck: What exactly are you doing?
Colt: I'm stretching. Getting limber.
Chuck: Why are you doing that?
Colt: So I won't pull a muscle when I break your neck. Maybe you should get limber too.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
[Casey catches Chuck's hand after Colt drops him off of a building and swings him to safety]
Chuck: You...You...
Casey: Yeah, I know, I catch you when you fall. It's touching, really.
Chuck: No no, I love you!
Casey: Keep it in your pants, Bartowski.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Date [2.01]
%
Chuck: I doubt Chuck Bartowski's going to be charming anyone.
Sarah: Why not? Worked on me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]
%
Chuck: I can't believe this is my life. Morgan, do you remember a time when I actually had potential?
Morgan: Are you kidding me? Yeah, you were bursting with it! Man, I'm glad that's over with!

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]
%
Chuck: You really want me to kiss her? !
Roan Montgomery: Desperately.
Chuck: Fine.
[Chuck and Sarah share a long, passionate kiss]
Roan Montgomery: Bravo.
Sarah: I better fix my lipstick. Excuse me.
Roan Montgomery: Sure. Something tells me that wasn't the first time that's happened.
Chuck: What? No. No. We're totally professional.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]
%
Sarah: Okay, look, the sooner we get the Cipher back and the sooner you can have the Intersect removed, and the sooner you can be free to live whatever life you choose with whomever you choose.
Chuck: What are you saying?
Sarah: I'm saying that you can have everything that you've always wanted.
Chuck: Let me see the file.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]
%
Ellie: What we need to be is more like Chuck and Sarah.
Chuck: Excuse me?
Ellie: Every time you see her your eyes light up. I mean, How do you keep that spark alive?
Chuck: I-I, you know-I don't think I should be getting involved in-
Awesome: Come on, what's the secret bro?
Chuck: You know what, we-we kinda just, you know, we pretend like we're not really dating, which is weird I know, but it-it-it forces me to have win her over again and again...and again.
Ellie: That is so sweet.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]
%
Chuck: Well, it may not be the steamiest, but we probably have the strangest relationship in Los Angeles.
Sarah: Doubt that. Morgan's still dating, right?
Chuck: Good point.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]
%
Roan: [preparing Chuck to seduce an enemy agent] We need to talk about protection.
Chuck: I really don't think it's going to get that far, Roan.
Roan: I mean a gun. Do you know why she's called the "black widow?"
Chuck: Because she's African-American, and her husband died?

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]
%
Chuck: So how can you just sit there and watch them die?
Roan: Because I'm not in love with one of the agents.
Chuck: I'm not...I care about them. I care about both of them. Besides we heard what she said, okay? To her, I'm just an asset.
Roan: No. You're not...Trust me. The lady doth protest too much. But Charles, you have to ask yourself is she worth dying for?
Chuck: Yes.
Roan: Poor boy. Lesson number one for being a spy: never fall in love.
Chuck: Well then I guess I'm not much of a spy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction [2.02]
%
Chuck: Buddy, what've I told you about direct confrontation with the Mighty Jocks, Mitt specifically?
Morgan: Run with my tail between my legs and go get John Casey.

  --  Chuck Versus the Breakup [2.03]
%
Chuck: So uh...staying with Sarah, huh?
Bryce: Protecting our cover. How are things between you guys?
Chuck: They're good. Good good good. Solid. Why, did she say something?
Bryce: No it's just, she's a beautiful girl, pretending to be your girlfriend. I was afraid you'd let the lines get blurred and fall for her.
Chuck: [scoffs] What me, fall for Sarah? Please.

  --  Chuck Versus the Breakup [2.03]
%
Lester: I'm too young, upwardly mobile, and handsome to die.

  --  Chuck Versus the Breakup [2.03]
%
Fulcrum Agent: Okay, let's try this one more time. The microchip. Please. The microchip now!
Bryce: Release the kid first.
Chuck: Kid? Honestly, we were born in the same year!

  --  Chuck Versus the Breakup [2.03]
%
Chuck: Look, we both know how I feel about you so I'm just going to shoot straight. Sarah, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You're beautiful, you're smart, you laugh at all of my stupid jokes and have a horrible habit of constantly saving my life. The truth is, you're everything that I thought I ever wanted and more. And for the last few days all I could think about is our future together. About what it's going to be like once I finally get the Intersect out of my head; we can be together for real, no fake relationships, no covers, no lies. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that you and I can never have a future together. I fooled myself into thinking that we could but the truth is: we can't. Because even if we had a real relationship it would never really be real. I'd still never know anything about you, your real name, your home town, your first love, anything. And I want more than that. I want to be able to call you at the end of a bad day and tell you about some funny thing Morgan did and not find out I can't but I can't cause you're off be somewhere in Paraguay quelling a revolution with a fork. I'm a normal guy who wants a normal life. And as amazing as you are, Sarah Walker, we both know that you will never be normal.
Sarah: You know, someday when the Intersect is out of your head and you have the life that you always wanted, you'll forget all about me.
Chuck: I seriously doubt that.

  --  Chuck Versus the Breakup [2.03]
%
Chuck: [watching Lester's sales policy in action] That's gonna end badly.
Morgan: I know. I know, Chuck. That's part of the fun.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cougars [2.04]
%
Sarah: Back off, Chuck! You have as much information as is pertinent to this assignment!
Chuck: So "Jenni" with an "i" or would that be-
[Sarah takes the pencil Chuck's holding]
Sarah: All Jenny's boyfriend needs to know is that Jenny hates questions about her past!
[Throws the pencil at a picture of Chuck and Sarah, embedding it in Chuck's picture]
Sarah: You got that?
Chuck I'm good. Yeah, I'm good.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cougars [2.04]
%
Casey: [to Chuck after Sarah spills wine on Chuck's pants] Not the first American tax dollars wasted on a man's lap.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cougars [2.04]
%
Sarah: Go check on Chuck.
Casey: As long as you promise not to filet her [Heather] before I get back.
Sarah: I can't promise anything.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cougars [2.04]
%
Chuck: Who's going to tell Ratner about his wife?
Casey: That's why love is for suckers.
Chuck: Where's Sarah?
Casey: Sucker.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cougars [2.04]
%
Mark Ratner: See, I'm just a guy who likes math, you know, and somehow I got a beautiful girl like that to fall in love with me. I have to pinch myself sometimes. It's like I'm dreaming. Aw, forget it, Agent Carmichael. I mean, how can I expect a cool guy like you to understand?
Chuck: You know what, Mark? Sometimes the nerd gets the girl.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cougars [2.04]
%
Sarah: Okay, fine, I'll answer one question about my past. You've earned that much.
Chuck: ...No thanks...I don't need to know more, not about who you were. 'Cause as much as you don't think so, I know who you are: a girl I'd like to share a cheeseburger with...Should I get a knife? I'll get a knife.
Sarah: That won't be necessary.
[Sarah rolls up one of pants legs, pulls out a knife and gives it to Chuck]
Chuck: That's awesome! And a little disturbing.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cougars [2.04]
%
Emmett: Let's start out simple: why do you belong at the Buy More?
Jeff: I satisfy a quota. My dad's part Indian. The cool kind of Indian, though, not like Lester.

  --  Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer [2.05]
%
Chuck: Hey, sis? The world's not gonna end today. [Ellie walks out of earshot] I have very reliable sources.

  --  Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer [2.05]
%
Chuck: The guy who created Missile Command commands actual missiles?

  --  Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer [2.05]
%
Ellie: Honey, do you think my brother's on drugs?
Devon: That would explain a lot.

  --  Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer [2.05]
%
Chuck: Oh, and I'm gonna need to borrow your girlfriend.
Morgan: Oh, dude she's all yours.

  --  Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer [2.05]
%
Chuck: Morgan! Hey, ah, buddy, do-do we carry any Rush CDs in the store?
Morgan: No need. I got them all in my Zune.
Chuck: You have a Zune?
Morgan: Are you kidding me? No, no. I'll grab my iPod.

  --  Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer [2.05]
%
Man: Is there a problem? [Chuck hides under desk]
Chuck: Can you tell me if the attractive, brown eyed, slightly egg headed brunette with an extremely cold heart is still here?
Man: She's here; why, who is she?
Chuck: Jill Roberts, my ex-girlfriend. She broke my heart. I need-I need a diversion; would-would it be a terrible imposition for you to pull the fire alarm?
Jill: Hi, I'm Dr Jill Roberts. Is there someone who can help me with the tech requirements for my lecture?
Man: Under the desk.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ex [2.06]
%
Chuck: When you say "reconnect" you mean send her an email or invite her to be my new Facebook friend, right?
General Beckman: Call her at her hotel and make a date! See if you flash on anything she says or anyone you meet.
Chuck: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a date with my ex? No, General, that-that is a terrible idea. You see she broke my heart; she destroyed me; she took all of my confidence, my mojo!
Casey: You had mojo?
Chuck: I was on my way, oh, and by the way she slept with Bryce Larkin.
Casey: Huh. Who hasn't? [looks at Sarah]
Sarah: Look, Chuck. I know Jill hurt you, but maybe seeing her will give you the closure that you've always wanted. You have done a lot for the CIA and we're going to make you look good.
Casey: Look on the bright side, now you can get your mojo back!

  --  Chuck Versus the Ex [2.06]
%
Chuck: Sticky clutch. [nervous laugh] Remind me to have my assistant have that fixed.
Jill: I think the valet is up a little further.
Chuck: Beautiful night for walk, huh? Shall we?

  --  Chuck Versus the Ex [2.06]
%
Jill: Who is it?
Chuck: It's the lying, yet well meaning fool who rented a Ferrari last night...
Casey: Ten bucks says she doesn't open the door for him!
Sarah: Make it twenty and you're on.
Jill: I don't want to talk to you Chuck!
Chuck: Okay, well, then I'll do all the talking. I know this may come as a shock to you but I'm here to do something totally crazy and tell you the truth. I still work at the Buy More, and, uh, I still live with my sister and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I guess I just wanted you to think that I was someone special. So, in order to accomplish that I went out and got a new suit and rented a car that I clearly have no idea how to drive because from the second I saw you again I knew that I hadn't gotten over you yet, Jill.
Jill: Really? You haven't gotten over me?
Chuck: No...
Jill: Get in here. [Casey pays up bet]

  --  Chuck Versus the Ex [2.06]
%
Casey: No no no, I served my country with honor Bartowski! Please...let me die with dignity!

  --  Chuck Versus the Ex [2.06]
%
Sarah: [Chuck's stuck in the air vent] What are you doing up there?
Chuck: Help! [Falls to the floor]
Casey: Shh. It's the F.B.I, they're dumb, not deaf.
Chuck: Thanks.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fat Lady [2.07]
%
Casey: Does the word "silent" have a different meaning in geek that I'm not aware of?

  --  Chuck Versus the Fat Lady [2.07]
%
Chuck: Wait. So not only did we not get the FULCRUM list, but Jill's never going to speak to me again because she caught me naked rinsing off fruit punch on another woman.
Casey: Common spy problem.
Chuck: Really?

  --  Chuck Versus the Fat Lady [2.07]
%
Jeff: I don't rat. Only thing my mother taught me from the joint. If you want answers, talk to the Injun
Lester: Injun is a highly derogatory word referring to Native Americans, not East Indians, you cretin!
Jeff: Grab a shiv and make your move.
Lester: We should run now. He's in "prison mode".

  --  Chuck Versus the Fat Lady [2.07]
%
Chuck: [stops making out with Jill because of the surveillance] Buy More, tomorrow.
Jill: What time?
Chuck: Take the latent heat of aquatic fusion...
Jill: Is that in calories per gram?
Chuck: Of course. [seductive voice] And then subtract the atomic number of thallium, got it? [Jill nods] Okay, I'll see you then!
Casey: [growls] Nerd code!

  --  Chuck Versus the Fat Lady [2.07]
%
Jill: Thank you for saving my life. Sorry for not trusting you with Chuck.
Sarah: You want to pay me back? Don't hurt him again.
Jill: I won't. I wouldn't. I care about Chuck.
Sarah: Me, too. It's my job to protect him...from anything.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fat Lady [2.07]
%
Chuck: Excuse me. I'm sorry, General. But who in my life isn't a spy? My sister? My best friend? Should I just start asking people that when I first meet them, "Hi I'd like the extra value meal, and while we're on the topic, do you covertly work for a government espionage faction?"

  --  Chuck Versus the Gravitron [2.08]
%
Chuck: [Text message to Sarah and Casey] I also unlocked your door. Taking them to Buy More. Unleash the Casey.

  --  Chuck Versus the Gravitron [2.08]
%
Chuck: You should know I wanted to help you. I was going to let you get away. But you were about to kill Sarah and made the decision for me. You're under arrest, Jill. And I'm breaking up with you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Gravitron [2.08]
%
Chuck: I'm just too trusting. Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to believe what everyone else told me, you know? I'm just getting used to this new job, with the spying and lying.
Sarah: Don't get used to it. What makes you special is that you're not like every other spy. You're a good guy and you want to help people. Leave the deception to me.
Chuck: I'm glad I have you.
Sarah: Yeah, we're better as a team.

  --  Chuck Versus the Gravitron [2.08]
%
Chuck: [to Ellie] And I realized that Jill, Stanford and Bryce, that's a story from my past...But my new story is you, and Sarah, and these freakin' yahoos. And sometimes it can be a really fun story.

  --  Chuck Versus the Gravitron [2.08]
%
Casey: Sure thing, Chuck. I'll just call all the criminals and rogue spies and let them know to hold on a sec because Chuck Bartowski needs some time to sort out his lady feelings.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sensei [2.09]
%
Casey: [to Chuck] If my primary objective wasn't to protect you, I'd kill you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sensei [2.09]
%
Casey: Beckman was out of line pulling me off this mission.
Sarah: I agree with her. You're too emotionally involved.
Casey: This from the agent that can't keep her chocolate out of Bartowski's peanut butter.
Sarah: Whatever my feelings may be for Chuck I never knowingly endangered the asset. You let your anger toward Bennett cloud your judgment.
Casey: Finally you admit that you do have feelings for the nerd.
Sarah: No, all I will admit to is having feelings.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sensei [2.09]
%
Chuck: GLA? Sure, they've sent probes to every planet except Pluto. Although, Pluto's not officially a planet anymore, which really bums me out.

  --  Chuck Versus the Sensei [2.09]
%
Chuck: Look. Look, I get how you're feeling man. I totally get how you're feeling. You're-you're feeling betrayed by someone that you really care about.
Casey: You're damaging my calm, Chuck.
Chuck: You've spent so much of your life pushing people away. Lashing out with hurtful words and-and-and punches. But-but I know why you do it. You do it because you're scared.
Casey: WHAT?
Chuck: Scared. Scared to be known. Scared that if we see who you are, we'd actually care about you.
Casey: Shut up, Chuck!
Sarah: Yeah, shut up, Chuck. You're making him mad.
Chuck: [shushes Sarah] Underneath that extremely terrifying exterior lies a man who deeply, deeply feels. You-you care. You care about us. You care about me. Admit you feel all warm and mushy about me. Go ahead, say it; you love me, John Casey.
Casey: I'm going to kill you!
[Lunges for Chuck]
Chuck: Wait, wait, wait! Hold on. No! Not me.
[points to Bennett]
Chuck: Him!

  --  Chuck Versus the Sensei [2.09]
%
Chuck: [mimicking Casey's voice] Well thanks for saving my life today, Chuck.
Chuck: Any time, Casey. Yeah, you know what you're my friend.
Chuck: [mimicking Casey's voice] Yeah, you know what, you're my friend too.
Chuck: That's really kind of you, Casey. Have a good night.
Casey: [seriously] Thank you. [closes door]

  --  Chuck Versus the Sensei [2.09]
%
Chuck: I think that you should know that the much much much older gentleman that you are having dinner with right now is a very bad man Sarah.
Sarah: Chuck-
Chuck: Let me finish. The guy is a total loser, all right? Absolute bottom feeding scum of the Earth. Have I mentioned considerably older man!
Jack: [from behind] All true, but I'm a hell of a dancer.
Sarah: Chuck, I'd like you to meet my dad, Jack Burton. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Chuck.
Chuck: [Chuck clears his throat] A real pleasure, sir.

  --  Chuck Versus the DeLorean [2.10]
%
Sarah: [about her father] Chuck, you're attributing good intentions to him because you're a good person.
Chuck: Well, he must've done something right: you turned out pretty good.

  --  Chuck Versus the DeLorean [2.10]
%
Awesome: I lent him that money to get an apartment, not blow it on some stupid car!
Anna: WHAT? That money was for our apartment?! I'm gonna kill him!
Awesome: Get in line, Anna!

  --  Chuck Versus the DeLorean [2.10]
%
Awesome: [to Morgan] You have exactly one day to get my money back to me or I pluck you from head to toe.
Anna: Start with the groin. He won't be using that region for a while.

  --  Chuck Versus the DeLorean [2.10]
%
Sarah: Why did you put the money in Chuck's account?
Jack: I needed to put it somewhere because I didn't trust Cop Face.
Sarah: But you trusted Chuck.
Jack: I read people. That's the only real talent I got. One thing I know is that kid would never betray you. I made a $10 million bet that he loved you...Turns out I was right.

  --  Chuck Versus the DeLorean [2.10]
%
Casey: [his toe has just been shot] I survived three wars without losing so much as a finger nail before I met you, Bartowski!

  --  Chuck Versus Santa Claus [2.11]
%
Chuck: We have a cover date tomorrow,  Christmas at the Bartowski's.
Sarah: Oh. Wow. Thanks for the invitation Chuck but I don't do Christmas.
Chuck: I'm sorry. I think you just said "You don't do Christmas."
Sarah: Look, I would rather not get into it.
Chuck: But it's, it's Christmas. Look I'm not buying the whole Scrooge act. Okay. Underneath that spy cover is a regular person, just like the rest of us. I mean honestly, how weird could Christmas have been for you?
Sarah: Christmas at the Burton household meant the annual Salvation Army con job.
Chuck: Okay. Well, so-Okay, you're a little different than the rest of us. but Christmas at the Bartowski's means...eggnog, pj's, a fake gas fireplace and that's right, Twilight Zone marathons. I'm not taking no for an answer, Walker. So prepare to be heartwarmed.

  --  Chuck Versus Santa Claus [2.11]
%
Ned: [talking about Casey] Hey, hey, I uh, feel terrible about shooting your friend's toe off.
Chuck: No, no, no, that's okay. Sometimes I feel like shooting him myself.

  --  Chuck Versus Santa Claus [2.11]
%
Sarah: Hi Chuck! Where are you?
Chuck: DVDs. I'm in the romantic-comedy section, although for irony's sake I suppose I should probably be in hostage thrillers.
Sarah: So um, Ned let everyone call their loved ones. That was pretty smart to call me, protect our cover.
Chuck: Yeah, well, you are my girlfriend. Sort of.
Sarah: So does that mean your offer still stands for Christmas?
Chuck: See I knew you could be heartwarmed. I actually, um...I have something for you. I was gonna give it to you tomorrow, but considering the circumstances I kind of want to give it to you today.
Sarah: Chuck, we're gonna get out of here. We'll be fine, I-
[Chuck pulls out a bracelet]
Sarah:  promise. Wow. That's beautiful.
Chuck: It's good luck. It was my mom's charm bracelet. My dad gave it to her when Ellie was born.
[Chuck puts it on Sarah's wrist]
Sarah: Oh Chuck, I can't take this. This is something real. Something you should give to a real girlfriend.
Chuck: ...I know.

  --  Chuck Versus Santa Claus [2.11]
%
Mauser: You may have beaten me, Agent Walker. But FULCRUM's won. I know that Chuck Bartowski's the Intersect.
Sarah: Chuck's secret is safe! And you're going straight to a CIA detention facility never to be seen or heard from again.
Mauser: You go right ahead, Agent Walker. Arrest me. But say "Good-bye" to Chuck. You see I'm not like those other FULCRUM agents. They'll do whatever it takes to find me. And when they do, every FULCRUM agent we have is gonna know Chuck's the Intersect. It's going to be the end of his pathetic existence. So take me in, Agent Walker, I'm ready to go.
[Pause. Sarah lowers her weapon. Long pause. Sarah shoots Mauser]

  --  Chuck Versus Santa Claus [2.11]
%
Morgan: Let me ask you something. What do you do when you see your girlfriend do something so horrific, it gets permanently burned into your brain?
Chuck: ...I don't know buddy.  But I know exactly what you mean.

  --  Chuck Versus Santa Claus [2.11]
%
Chuck: Sarah? [Chuck is dreaming that Sarah rises from his bed in black lingerie]
Sarah Yes Chuck.
Chuck: This is a dream.
Sarah: No, it isn't.
Chuck: C'mon, who are we kidding here? This is clearly my subconscious at work. On behalf of my conscious self, I'd like to apologize. I'm normally far more respectful of women, even in my dreams. It's just that anxiety and fear can, um ahem, really affect your dream life.
Sarah: And what are you afraid of?
Chuck: I watched you kill that FULCRUM agent in cold blood, Sarah. I am... I am not like you. Okay? I might have all these government secrets in my brain, but that does not make me a real spy. I, I need to tell you this in reality, not in my dream.
Sarah: Chuck...this isn't a dream.
Chuck: What is it?
Sarah: It's a nightmare!
Chuck: [Chuck wakes up screaming] That's not the way that dream was suppose to go.

  --  Chuck Versus the Third Dimension [2.12]
%
Chuck: How much tranquilizer did you use?
Casey: It's a high grade at a heavy dose. Mr. Martin should be out for 12 to 24 hours.
Tyler Martin: [Starts to wake up] Jet lag is brutal.
Chuck: Rock star metabolism.
Tyler Martin: All the better for seeing you, darling. Hello [Casey tranqs him again] I feel like a daffodil.
Casey: Time for the road trip.
Chuck: Road trip? Wait, whoa whoa whoa whoa where are you going?
Casey: Buy More parking lot camera has a match on the car the suspect drove this morning.
Chuck: What about Tyler here?
Casey: Hmm? Oh, check his mouth every twenty minutes. Make sure he doesn't choke on his own tongue.
Chuck: Hang on a second. You're-you're gonna go and you want me to stay here and be on tongue-watch duty?
Sarah: Well, you don't have plans, do you?
Chuck: Would it be so crazy if I did have plans? Plans that involved something other than fixing a computer or playing hot potato with a thermite grenade?
Casey: Yes.

  --  Chuck Versus the Third Dimension [2.12]
%
Sarah: You know, Chuck, Casey is right. You could've gotten yourself killed. What exactly were you thinking?
Chuck: What was I thinking? I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking like I wasn't a spy. Okay. I was trying to have a little bit of fun. And I knew the second I called you two, it would all be over!
Sarah: But Chuck, you are a spy. And you should know better than to put yourself in a dangerous situation where I can't protect you!
Chuck: Is it really so wrong for me to want a night off? I was having a really good time, too, until the assassins stole my pants and tried to kill me. I've earned it. I deserve it.
[Casey shoots him with a tranquilizer dart]
Chuck: I'm losing consciousness.
[Chuck falls to floor unconscious]
Sarah: CASEY!
Casey: My ears couldn't take it. Either that or I shoot him.

  --  Chuck Versus the Third Dimension [2.12]
%
Tyler Martin: I hear you're the bro to talk to to get more of those tasty tranq darts.
Casey: Philistine.

  --  Chuck Versus the Third Dimension [2.12]
%
Sarah: If there is something bothering you, then please tell me. I know part of your job is to keep all these secrets in your head but you're not suppose to keep them from me.
Chuck: Yeah I know, I know...I saw you shoot that FULCRUM agent on Christmas Eve. After they took over the Buy More.  And when I asked you about it...
Sarah: I lied.
Chuck: Yeah.
Sarah: Chuck, I have to protect you.
Chuck: I know that. I...I...I know that you do. You were protecting me, you were protecting all of us. He had threatened my family, my friends, and you were just doing your job. I get that but... Sarah, the guy was unarmed. And, and you just...
Sarah: I did what I had to do. He knew who you really were. Your whole family was in danger. And I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget you never asked for all of this.
Chuck: That part I'm not sure I'll ever get used to.

  --  Chuck Versus the Third Dimension [2.12]
%
Morgan: Gentlemen, I think that I speak for all of us when I say that the only reason that I took this job at the Buy More was to do as little work as humanly possible.
[Jeff and Lester nod]
Morgan: And the big man, he made that dream a reality.
Lester: That man's an inspiration to slackers everywhere.
Jeff: Until his old lady dumped him.
Morgan: We're screwed! I mean, we're screwed now that he has nothing to live for except for work.
Jeff: Yeah, but how do we get Mrs. Big Mike to take him back?
Lester: How do you mend a broken heart?
Emmett: You mean, how do we get him laid? I'm sorry to interrupt this little meeting of the minds but you're not the only ones who find this new regime insufferable. It's obvious that our rotund leader is channeling his sexual energies into the Buy More. In my opinion your only hope...
Morgan: Is to channel him back into sex. Yeah, it's brilliant, Emmett. But where do we find Big Mike a ridiculous, out of his league hottie?
Lester: Someone to suck his...will to work out of him.
Jeff: Not at a Bennigan's Bar.
Lester: Sometimes that fruit hangs a little too low.
Emmett: Where do you meet people where you don't have to pay for sex?

  --  Chuck Versus the Suburbs [2.13]
%
Chuck: Well, gotta run. You know how it is...the old ball and chain.
Sylvia: Listen Charles, I just live right across the street. So...call me, when the honeymoon's over. I've got a chain too.
[ Chuck moves away back to Sarah]
Sarah: Well?
Chuck: No flashes, no nothing. I think our neighbors are clean. Except for that lady across the street. She's got a dirty mouth.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suburbs [2.13]
%
Sylvia: Mr. Carmichael, I didn't expect you to come so quickly.
Chuck: Charles Carmichael always comes quickly.
[awkward pause]
Casey: [over watch-phone] Real smooth, Bartowski.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suburbs [2.13]
%
Chuck: Casey, I'm handcuffed.
Casey: Relax, handcuffs are a cinch.
Chuck: Really?
Casey: Yeah, there's a bone in your thumb. Tiny bone. Real easy to break. What you're gonna wanna do is you're gonna wanna apply torsional pressure until it snaps.
Chuck: I'm not going to break my bone!
Casey: Well in that case, you are screwed.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suburbs [2.13]
%
Ellie: Well, what happened? What went wrong?
Chuck: I guess something that's been wrong from the start. You know?
Ellie: Are...you guys aren't breaking up, are you?
Chuck: No, no, no, no, no. Trust me. Sarah's not going anywhere.
Ellie: Chuck, I guess I, I don't, I don't know what you're saying exactly.
Chuck: Look El, I know how much you love Sarah. And I know how much you love the idea of us, and us moving forward with you and Devon, but we're not anything like you guys.
Ellie: But you guys seem so perfect.
Chuck: Yeah, I know. I guess, but being in that house with her, it was so close to being perfect. The way I had always pictured it would be. Then I realized what was wrong with that picture...And it was us. Sarah and I are never going to be anything more than we are now right now. And you know what? I'm okay with that.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suburbs [2.13]
%
Jeff: Does it shock you that 80% of my encounters with women have been completely without their knowledge?
Chuck: Honestly, I'm more surprised by the other 20%, Jeff. Look, buddy, I know you're going through a tough time, but I don't feel comfortable stalking another human being.
Morgan: Dude, it's not stalking, okay? It's caring enough about someone to learn things about them they won't tell you themselves.
Chuck: Which is stalking.

  --  Chuck Versus the Best Friend [2.14]
%
Chuck: I can't betray my best friend. How come nobody gets that?
Casey: Hmm. Semper Fidelis. Means always faithful in the Marines. In civilian life, means putting your friend's well being above your own. I-I salute you for that, Bartowski. [Casey gives Chuck a small salute] Well done.
Chuck: Yeah, that's, Thanks, Casey. Yeah. Semper Fi. Semper Fi! You know it's a pretty upside down world when this guy's the one picking up the emotional nuances around here.
[Casey winks at Sarah]

  --  Chuck Versus the Best Friend [2.14]
%
Lester: What was that about?
Chuck: I'm helping Ellie and Awesome find a band for their wedding.
Lester: Then this, sir, is your lucky day.
Jeff: We'll handle it from here.
Chuck: You're going to help me find a band?
Lester: No-no-no, you misunderstand. You found your band. It is WE. [points to himself and Jeff] We'll play your sister's big day.
Chuck: Um wait, wait a minute, you guys have a band?
Jeff: Jeff...
Lester: ...Lester...
Jeff and Lester: JEFFSTER!!
Chuck: That seems very fitting.
Jeff: Originally, we were going to go with the name "Jester," but we didn't want people to associate us with a couple of fools.
Chuck: Obviously not.

  --  Chuck Versus the Best Friend [2.14]
%
Sarah: No, I get it; he's your best friend.
Chuck: You know you say that, but I don't think you have a clue what it means. Look, Sarah, I don't have parents. I mean not really. I don't really talk about it because that's the way things are now. But it wasn't always this way. Morgan was there the first day that my mom took off. He didn't say much. Because honestly what is a fifth grader supposed to say? But we sat there and split a cherry cheesecake and played Legend of Zelda all night long. And my dad, well that's-that's a whole other story. But Morgan was there for that too. Morgan is more than just my best friend. He's my family. Before you got here, and long after you've gone, Morgan is my family.
Sarah: ...Last night we failed to learn the contents of the Triad's container. And now we don't know what kind of drugs or weapons are floating around in the city. And while I appreciate your friendship with Morgan, losing sight of that container endangers many people's best friends, not just yours, Chuck.

  --  Chuck Versus the Best Friend [2.14]
%
Sarah: I wanted to apologize. I could have been more sensitive before about your friendship with Morgan. It's just-it's difficult. I don't really have anyone in my life like that who cares about me.
Chuck: Yeah, you do.

  --  Chuck Versus the Best Friend [2.14]
%
Chuck [seeing Jeff's van]: Whoa! What is this place?
Lester: Whatever our friend Jeffrey here doesn't guzzle down his throat, he spends on spy gear. Incredible, right?
Chuck: Incredibly creepy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Best Friend [2.14]
%
Morgan: Uh, why on God's green Earth would he ever ever break up with Sarah?
Awesome: Ask Ellie, it was her idea.
Morgan: Really?
Ellie: What? He said that he didn't think she was the one.
Morgan: [Morgan sighs] There are a few precious things I know anything about in this world. Chuck's one of them. Believe me, Sarah's the one.
Ellie: How do you know?
Morgan: How do I know? It's all over the kid's face. When Chuck is around Sarah, he is the Chuck that we always dreamed of, all right? The-the Chuck that has the potential to do anything in the world.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beefcake [2.15]
%
Chuck: Ooh! Ugh! Oh my God! This is unbearable! My back is killing me, my wrists are chafing!
Cole: This is going to get ugly. What level is his pain tolerance?
Sarah: I'd say about 1 out of 10.
Chuck: A what? A one? I'd say I'm at least at an 8.
Sarah: Chuck, the torture hasn't even started yet.
Chuck: This is the pre-torture? Okay, okay, put me down for a 1.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beefcake [2.15]
%
Chuck: Hey, can... can we... can we get a little closer on this picture of Cole, maybe push in on his... "groinal" area?
Casey: What, you seeing something you like down there, Bartowski?
Chuck: Oh. Okay, I just flashed, and the intelligence is in Cole's belt buckle.
Casey; Huh. Well, you're going to have to get his pants off, huh, Walker? Good thing Bartowski dumped you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beefcake [2.15]
%
Casey: What happened?
Chuck: Well I...fainted and hit my head on the ground.
Casey: Real brave Bartowski.
Chuck: Hey! I fainted on purpose. That was my move. You know I'm terrified of needles.
Casey: So your move was to faint and his was to endure torture.
Chuck: We have different methods.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beefcake [2.15]
%
Chuck: Ellie, Awesome, I have made a very important decision. I am moving out...
Ellie: [Ellie gasps] Yes!
Chuck: And moving in with Morgan.
Ellie: NO!

  --  Chuck Versus the Beefcake [2.15]
%
Captain Awesome: Whoa!
Morgan: Evening.
Captain Awesome: Talk about low hanging fruit!
Ellie: Oh my God! I'm going to kill Chuck!
Morgan: Didn't Chuck tell you I sleep in the, in the buff?

  --  Chuck Versus the Beefcake [2.15]
%
Sarah: Chuck, he knows you're the Intersect. We have to go into 24-hour protective detail until further notice.
Chuck: What exactly does that mean?
Sarah: It means we can't break up. And we have to move in together.
[Noticing Ellie, Awesome and Morgan]
Sarah: Well, Ellie's watching; we'd better sell it.
[They hug]
Chuck: Are you sure about this? I mean he's a really tough guy. Maybe he won't talk.
Sarah: Chuck, everyone talks.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beefcake [2.15]
%
Lester: Morgan. All you have to do is convince Anna that moving in with you is a bad idea.
Morgan: Okay, but how am I gonna...
Lester: Shhh, Bubeleh, you've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
Jeff: And business is good.

  --  Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon [2.16]
%
Sarah: We work for the government, Dr. Busgang.
Perseus: So do I. Tell them, Duncan. We work for the CIA.
Casey: The men you work for are terrorists.
[Casey gets slammed against the wall by two agents]
Casey: Hey!
Duncan: Terrorist? We're patriots. Howard, you're a patriot.
Casey: You're spies who've turn your back on your country!
Duncan: You couldn't have it more wrong. Who do you think we are? We do what needs to be done to preserve this nations rightful place in the world. Someday you'll thank us. Well, not you, you'll be dead.

  --  Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon [2.16]
%
General Beckman: Mr. Barker, I understand you were hurt protecting Agent Walker. I'm told you showed great courage.
Cole: Just doing my job, General. Actually, it was Chuck who showed great courage on this mission. He was also injured in the line of duty.
Casey: He got clipped by a windowsill. It's as pathetic as it sounds.

  --  Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon [2.16]
%
Casey [to Sarah]: We're dead. Bartowski's got a gun.

  --  Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon [2.16]
%
Morgan: I want to make sure that she [Anna] loves me for me and not...other things.
Chuck: [to Jeff and Lester] Excuse us. [aside to Morgan] Are you crazy? What other things could she possibly be loving you for? I mean honestly, buddy, you know that I love you, but-but you're lucky to have a girl in your life who loves you for you, even though you are in fact you.
Morgan: ...Fair.
Chuck: If you don't stop testing her, she's gonna choose to be with someone else. And then you will have realized, and unfortunately too late, that you lost the catch of a lifetime. [Chuck walks away]
Lester: Counter point. She's not the catch of a lifetime. She's a scheming tart who will harvest your organs and sell them to the highest bidder.

  --  Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon [2.16]
%
Chuck: Sarah, I'm not gonna move in with you...Because I can't...And you know why I can't...I'm crazy about you. And-and I always have been. But, you know, having a fake relationship, that's one thing. But living together is...I mean everyday and being around each other and-and...and that's why I can't do it. And I hope you understand.
Sarah: I do.
Chuck: Thank you.
[Starts to leave then stops]
Chuck: Oh and, uh, just so you know, I am going to get this thing out of my head, one day. I will. And when I do, I'm going to live the life I want with the girl I love. Because I'm not going to let this thing rob me of that. I won't.

  --  Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon [2.16]
%
Barkley: We're the flagship store, we should get those computers-
Big Mike: Flagship of my ass; now get out of here, Barkley.

  --  Chuck Versus the Predator [2.17]
%
Vincent: You have one chance. Drop your guns.
Chuck: Uh, sir. They don't have any guns. I personally put this mission together, and I forbade them from packing.
Vincent: Why would you do that?
Chuck: I don't know. I just, you know-I think guns make things too easy. I like my spies to be tough. Look, you're not going to shoot anyone, right?
Vincent: It would be unprofessional not to.

  --  Chuck Versus the Predator [2.17]
%
Chuck: What? You're coming here?
General Beckman: Hopefully I won't have to shut down Operation Bartowski because of one foolish mistake. But if FULCRUM knows who you really are, pack your bags, Chuck; you're leaving with me. Tell your family and friends...tell them nothing.

  --  Chuck Versus the Predator [2.17]
%
Sarah: Chuck Bartowski has risked his life for this country. But he's not a spy and he knows it.
General Beckman: He's a spy until I say he isn't.
Sarah: General, Chuck knows that Orion is out there and he is not going to sit in his room and do what we say. He...
Casey: What is it?
Sarah: Where's Chuck?
Casey: [Casey checks the tracking device] Watch has him in his room.
Sarah: No. This is Chuck we're talking about. He would've come up with some excuse to come in here and meet the General in person.
General Beckman: What?
Sarah: Check his room.
Casey: Walker's right. Chuck's a social butterfly by nature.

  --  Chuck Versus the Predator [2.17]
%
Chuck: General, you don't want the Intersect out of my head, do you?
General Beckman: No, I don't.
Sarah: Ma'am, Chuck has done everything that we've asked of him.
General Beckman: Agent Walker, you want to protect him, but play time is over. Chuck, I hesitate to say this...
Chuck: Please, please hesitate.
General Beckman: We are in the midst of a secret war with FULCRUM. And I believe the outcome of this fight will rest squarely on your shoulders.
Casey: Oy.
Chuck: No. Listen to the man, he's right. I'm no spy.
General Beckman: Do you know how many agents I've lost to FULCRUM? How powerful they are? Only this operation, only you have found a hole in their armor. See, I can't lose you, Chuck. I need you. It's time for you to become a spy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Predator [2.17]
%
Zamir: Are you his doctor?
Chuck: Of course. Am I not wearing a doctor's coat? Who else would I be if not one of this man's doctors?
Zamir: Doctor, I am Harry Lime's private physician, Dr. Muhammad Zamir.
[they shake hands]
Chuck: Ah, Doctor.
Zamir: Doctor.
Chuck: Doctor.
Zamir: Doctor.
Chuck: And, doctor.
Zamir: Nurse, would you excuse us for a moment, please? I'd like to consult the doctor privately, please.
Chuck: Yes, yes, we will be discussing doctor things that only doctors understand, please go. [whispers to Alex] Please don't go.
Alex: Be right outside... doctor.

  --  Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]
%
Sarah: [Holding up Chuck's cellphone] I found this when I went to say goodbye to Chuck.
Alex: Which directly disobeyed an order. You were fired for exactly this reason.
Sarah: Then there's nothing stopping me from kicking your ass.

  --  Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]
%
[both high on nitrous oxide]
Zamir: You're lying.
Chuck: No, I'm not. Think about it. Ladybugs can't all be ladies. I mean, that's just crazy. Then, how would we get little ladybugs? You know what I mean?

  --  Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]
%
Chuck: I don't know what to do. Ever since you guys rolled into town, my life has been... has been spinning out of control. My whole world is about juggling lies. It's like... it's like this. I bet this is a... what, a submachine gun?
[grabs a hairdryer]
Sarah: No, it dries my hair.

  --  Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]
%
Jeff: I broke eight and a half commandments on the way to work this morning.

  --  Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]
%
Chuck: Oh my God, I'm bleeding. Oh my God I'm bleeding, oh my God I'm bleeding.
Zamir: Come on.
Chuck: I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding. I'm sorry, I get a little woozy at the sight of blood.
Zamir: A surgeon is afraid of blood?
Chuck: I know, a little ironic, right?

  --  Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]
%
Casey: Hey. Chuck, turn off the gas you idiot. You inhale too much of that stuff it'll kill you.
Chuck: We're gonna die.
[Chuck and Zamir laugh]
Chuck: We're gonna die.
Alex: [Grabbing the walkie talkie] Open this door right now!
Chuck: No. Look, I'm not listening to you. Okay?
Alex: This isn't working. I can't risk this going any further. I'm getting the nitro.
[Starts to leave]
Sarah: Forrest, we can do this your way or we can actually save the asset.

  --  Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]
%
General Beckman: Agent Walker, despite your heroism, you have directly disobeyed several orders...
Chuck: Wait, General, um, I'm sorry but, but isn't the most important part of being my handler making sure I stay alive?
Sarah: It's okay, Chuck.
Casey: No, it's not.
[Everyone looks at Casey]
Casey: Let him finish.
Chuck: Thanks...Um, General. What I'm trying to say is that I-I think that maybe because my relationship with Sarah is so...you know, we're-we're-we're close. We care about each other. That's-that's what I'm trying to say. And-and I know it's not protocol or whatever but it's those feelings that wound up saving my life.

  --  Chuck Versus the Broken Heart [2.18]
%
Chuck: [to Sarah and Casey dressed as nerds] Either this is a mission or you two are very good at hiding your hobbies.

  --  Chuck Versus the Dream Job [2.19]
%
Sarah: Where's Chuck?
Casey: In a world of pain.

  --  Chuck Versus the Dream Job [2.19]
%
Chuck: I can't believe this. My father invented the intersect.
Stephen: Well, that's not true. I didn't invent all of it. Just the really cool stuff. Come on. All right, now I can understand how this could complicate a few things.
Chuck: What? Complicate a few things; Dad, I saw you die. I saw you explode in a helicopter.
Stephen: Well, I see how I could have given you that impression. I had to die quite a few times, one of the perils of being Orion.

  --  Chuck Versus the Dream Job [2.19]
%
Stephen: What you are gonna see are a bunch of encoded images that will cancel out the ones that you originally uploaded.
Chuck: Wait. Are you saying that you are gonna overwrite my brain?
Stephen: That's a good way of putting it. Yes.

  --  Chuck Versus the Dream Job [2.19]
%
Roark: Put him on the helicopter. Kill his CIA agent.
Stephen: He's my son.
Roark: He's your son? Congratulations! That's great! I had no idea...Kill his son.
Stephen: I'll-I'll build anything you want, give FULCRUM their intersect. But my son walks away from here.
Vincent: You'll build it either way.
Stephen: You going to torture me? After 10 years away from my family, my son walks away!
Roark: Alright, alright. I'm not a monster...Maybe a little bit of a monster. Today's his lucky day. Shotgun on the chopper. Let's go.

  --  Chuck Versus the Dream Job [2.19]
%
Bernie: Are you wired?
Chuck: No we're not.
Bernie: [aims his gun at Chuck's face] Are you wired?
Chuck: Yes, yes we are.
. . .
Bergey: Are you wearing a wire?
Chuck: That's preposterous.
Bergey: [his thugs aim their weapons at Chuck] Are you wearing a wire?
Chuck: Yes, yes I am.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Kill [2.20]
%
Wally Roberts: [to Sarah and Casey] And you are?
Sarah: I'm, uh, Chuck's cousin, Sarah. And this is my boyfriend John.
Wally Roberts: Talk about beauty and the beast, huh? You must be loaded.
[Casey feigns a laugh]

  --  Chuck Versus the First Kill [2.20]
%
Chuck: I'm sorry. They're sending you back to prison.
Jill: Well, it's not your fault. At least I got to see my family one last time. I'm sorry I couldn't help you Chuck.
Chuck: It's okay. I'm sorry about your Uncle Bernie. I had no idea the Morgan was so lethal.
Jill: I'm glad you haven't lost your sense of humor. They changed me. Promise me that you won't let them change you.
Chuck: I'll do my best.
Jill: I liked wearing this. Even if it was just for a few hours. [takes off engagement ring] They were never gonna let me go even if we found your dad, were they? NSA, Fulcrum, CIA, they're all the same. They all lie. They're not gonna let you go either, Chuck. Watch your back.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Kill [2.20]
%
Casey: Permission to drop the twerp into a deep dark hole, General?
General Beckman: Granted.
Casey: Huh?
General Beckman: It's over, the Human Intersect Project has become too hard to control. I can't afford to wonder anymore if the team or Chuck Bartowski is a liability.
Sarah: What are you saying, General?
General Beckman: I'm shutting down this project. Chuck's going into lockdown. He'll be taken to Washington, and put into a secure facility once-and-for-all.
Casey: Operation Moron is over?

  --  Chuck Versus the First Kill [2.20]
%
Chuck: I owe you an apology.
Sarah: Why?
Chuck: I was beginning to think that I couldn't trust you anymore, Sarah. That maybe Jill was right. That the CIA was never gonna let me go, that they would always put their best interests ahead of mine...But not you. You've always looked out for me. Thank you.
Sarah: [pause. Sarah hugs Chuck and whispers in his ear] Take off your watch.
Chuck: Why?
Sarah: Because it's all a lie. Your dad is still out there. Beckman sent me to get you to bring you back to Castle. They're going to take you underground. We have to run.
Chuck: [Sarah has just taken him on the run] You're disobeying orders for me? You're committing treason, Sarah; you could go to jail.
Sarah: I know.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Kill [2.20]
%
Chuck: So ah, as you can see, just the one bed. A little presumptuous I guess. Should I have asked for separate rooms?
Sarah: No, It's fine. As long as we're on the lam, I can't let you out of my sight. I'm gonna take a shower.
Chuck: I'm gonna assume that whole out-of-sight thing doesn't really apply right now.

  --  Chuck Versus the Colonel [2.21]
%
Casey: Going somewhere Bartowski?
Chuck: No. No. We came back here for you because Fulcrum's here.
Casey: Well then we better get out of here.
Chuck: I'm not leaving without Sarah.
Casey: You drive or I end you.
Chuck: End me? Oh yeah, how are you going to do that? You don't have a gun.
Casey: Don't think I could kill you using my thumb or my elbow? Nerd bludgeoned by radiator.
Chuck: You can't kill me with that radiator. It is far to confined in this car for you to get the appropriate torque.
Casey: Strangle you with my handcuff chain.
Chuck: Yeah. Yeah. You could probably do that.

  --  Chuck Versus the Colonel [2.21]
%
Chuck: For whatever it's worth... if I have to spend the rest of my days in a dark, windowless room, I can't think of a better person to spend it with.
Sarah: That's not really how this works.
Chuck: We can't request a cozy little two-bed, two-bath cell?
Sarah: Two-bed?

  --  Chuck Versus the Colonel [2.21]
%
Awesome: You're a spy, Chuck?
Chuck: Yeah, more or less, yeah.
Awesome: Whoa...Wow!...this is...awesome!

  --  Chuck Versus the Colonel [2.21]
%
Chuck: What? No gun for me?
Sarah: Nope. You get to stay in the car.
Chuck: C'mon, the whole "stay in the car" thing, aren't we past this? I think I'm perfectly capable of handling myself on a mission.
Casey: [holds Chuck at gun point] You were saying, Agent Imbecile? Drop it, Walker.
Sarah: You drop it.
Chuck: Sarah, don't! Don't, I've come this far; if he's gonna stop me he's gonna have to kill me.
Casey: Beckman called in an air strike.  It'll be here in less than 20 minutes.
Chuck: What!? Casey, my father is here! You said you would rescue him; you gave me your word. I thought that would've meant something. I guess I have a lot to learn.
Casey: Yeah, that's right you do. You made three crucial mistakes, Bartowski: you didn't realize you were being trailed for the last half hour, you didn't bring nearly enough fire power, and you didn't ask me to join.
Chuck: ...Casey, would you like to help us rescue my father?
Casey: I think your father has served our country honorably and deserves to attend his daughter's wedding.
Sarah: Is that a "yes"?
Casey: One condition: he stays in the car.
Sarah: Agreed.
Chuck: Done. Hey, hey the team's back together again! Group hug!
Casey: One more step it'll be your last. No hugs!
Chuck: In the car I go.

  --  Chuck Versus the Colonel [2.21]
%
Chuck: Hey, I was wondering if you, uh, you wanted to come to my sister's rehearsal dinner?
Casey: The Intersect's out, Bartowski. You don't need my help anymore.
Chuck: I'm not asking you as the asset. I'm asking you as a friend.[Casey closes door] Okay, well I tried.
Casey: [Reopens door with jacket on and holding cigars] Open bar, I hope. I'll go warm up the vic.

  --  Chuck Versus the Colonel [2.21]
%
General Beckman: Chuck, what are your plans for the future?
Chuck: I was gonna get a good champagne buzz going on at my sister's wedding followed by a nice extra-long slow dance with my date. Vocationally speaking? Oh, that? No, nothing. Nothing lined up just yet.
General Beckman: How would you feel about working on the new Intersect project? Your government has been building its own Intersect. You've shown real promise. We'd like you to be an analyst. Your country is calling you, Mr. Bartowski.
Chuck: Uh, well then I think my country might have the wrong number. 'Cause I'm just Chuck Bartowski, not a hero.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring [2.22]
%
Chuck: See? Guys can hug.
Casey: Not if they don't have their man parts.
Chuck: That's a good point.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring [2.22]
%
Chuck: I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait any longer. Okay? Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do with my future. And the truth is I don't have a clue. All I do know is that I want you to be in it.
Sarah: Please, I really have to tell you-
Chuck: No. No guns. No lies. Just us. Just like I've always wanted. I've recently come into a little bit of money. So, any place you want to go. Any place at all, as long as it's sunny with little umbrella drinks. What I'm getting at here is...Sarah Walker will you do me the honor...of taking a vacation with me?
Sarah: Chuck, I'm leaving in the morning. The details are classified. But I'm working on the new Intersect Project with Bryce.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring [2.22]
%
Bryce: The cube can't fall into the wrong hands. I made a promise to Orion.
Chuck: You knew?
Bryce: That was the deal. Your dad knew I protected you at Stanford. I was the only spy he would trust.
Chuck: I can't believe you've known this whole time.
Bryce: He wanted to keep you out of this. But I knew you could handle the Intersect. I knew Sarah would find you. Most importantly, you deserved to know the truth about your father. He's a hero...Now let's go get your sister married.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring [2.22]
%
Chuck: You belong out there, saving the world. I'm just... I'm just not that guy.
Sarah: How many times do you have to be a hero to realize that you are that guy?
Chuck: But I want more, Sarah. I want a life. I want a real life.
Sarah: Chuck, I don't want to save the world. I want...

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring [2.22]
%
Chuck: [after Sarah leaves] I have to go.
Steve: No. No. You don't, you're not a spy.
Chuck: Dad... I love her!

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring [2.22]
%
Chuck: Guys...I know Kung Fu.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring [2.22]
%
Awesome: Still playing the loser cover? You're nailing it.
Chuck: Not a cover, it's my life. I was fired. For real. I'm not a spy anymore and to be perfectly honest I'm not sure I ever really was.
Awesome: [in disbelief] So wait, this is really you?
Chuck: Maybe we should be introduced, I'm Chuck Bartowski: total loser, cheeseball addict.

  --  Chuck Versus the Pink Slip [3.01]
%
Sarah: We could run. You and me. We go now and never look back.
Chuck: Are you serious?
Sarah: I have some money saved up. I'd have to get us some new identities. Create an escape route. For now go to the training facility in Prague. Then meet me in the Nadrazzi Train Station in 3 weeks time at 7:00. And then I can figure out the rest later.
Chuck: What are you saying?
Sarah: I'm saying I want to be a real person again, with you. That's what you want, right? I mean this is it, Chuck. Will you run away with me?
Chuck: Yeah.

  --  Chuck Versus the Pink Slip [3.01]
%
Casey: Poor bastard.
Sarah: Who?
Casey: Moron that's still in love with you.
Sarah: I promise you, Casey he is not in love with me.
Casey: Oh, come on. I don't know what happened between you two. Don't want to. Just saying, I've seen men have their fingernails pulled out treated more humanely than you did that kid.
Sarah: I was just doing my job.
Casey: Job's over. Put him out of his misery. He deserves that much.

  --  Chuck Versus the Pink Slip [3.01]
%
Sarah: Ever since you went to Prague I have worked with the best spies in the world and you know what?
Chuck: They're on their way here to save us?
Sarah: None of them can do what you can do. You're a spy now flash on Javier and get us out of here.

  --  Chuck Versus the Pink Slip [3.01]
%
General Beckman: Sarah, I need you to keep Chuck's emotions in check so the Intersect can work. He listens to you. But he's also an unstable element.
Sarah: Do you think he's dangerous?
General Beckman: Very. But he's worth the risk. For the last two years, we've protected Chuck from the world. But now we have to protect the world from Chuck.

  --  Chuck Versus the Pink Slip [3.01]
%
Ellie: This isn't about you, Chuck. This is about us. We needed a place for two. And you can get a roommate, you know. You have plenty of friends.
Morgan: I'm so happy right now!
Ellie: Other friends, Chuck. Other friends.

  --  Chuck Versus the Pink Slip [3.01]
%
Morgan: Our lives are incredible.
Chuck: Yeah, incredibly average to sub-par.

  --  Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]
%
Morgan: Carina is not just some girl, okay, she's basically a Swedish supermodel. The country's greatest export since Bjorn Borg.
Jeff: People mistake me for him all the time.

  --  Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]
%
Carina: And Casey will pose as my father.
Casey: Check your math, sister. I'll play your brother.
Carina: That's a bit of a stretch, Colonel.
Chuck: Yeah, Casey. Uh, I think you have dungarees that are older than Carina.

  --  Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]
%
Chuck: And the decision that I made in Prague. I know what it looks like, I know that it looks like I chose being a spy over-over being with you. But that's not what happened. How I felt about you was real. Very, very real. And I know that you know how I felt about you for a long time, you know. But when Carina told me what you said, those three words that I've waited to hear for so long. Look Sarah, I know. You were probably very hurt. You're probably hurt that I didn't run away with you in Prague...Sarah, I love you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]
%
Morgan: [to Carina] Just because you're a beautiful woman that I would give up a non-vital organ to make love to doesn't give you the right to show up with this clown and humiliate me in front of my friends.

  --  Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]
%
Carina: Mmm. No one's ever said no to me before. It's sexy.
Morgan: Was I... ? Or was it... ?
Carina: Mmm. I've had better.
Morgan: Yeah, of course.
Carina: But not many.

  --  Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]
%
Carina: What the hell are you doing to my mission? You and Sarah are supposed to be a happy couple.
Chuck: Look, ever since I got back from Prague, Sarah's been so cold.
Carina: You idiot. The reason Sarah's cold is because she loves you. Now, get your head out of your ass and go be a spy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]
%
Chuck: There's gotta be a contingency plan if enemy agents infiltrate my house. Like a button you push that calls that cavalry so they can swoop in and get everyone out. Where's the button?
Casey: Me. I'm the button.

  --  Chuck Versus the Three Words [3.02]
%
Awesome: Sorry, dude, didn't mean to scare you.
Chuck: Really, well then maybe you shouldn't be sneaking in my room in the middle of the night.

  --  Chuck Versus the Angel de la Muerte [3.03]
%
Chuck: I had a CIA mission.
Awesome: What exactly does that mean?
Chuck: Well you know, same old same old. Bad guy throws a fancy cocktail party. Another bad guy is trying to sell him a weapon. We bust both bad guys. Defuse a bomb. Blah blah blah.

  --  Chuck Versus the Angel de la Muerte [3.03]
%
Casey: But haven't you personally given me the order to kill that commie crackpot on three separate occasions?
General Beckman: And three times, you have failed to complete your orders.
Sarah: Thought you said you had a perfect record.
Chuck: Wow. This is getting entertainingly uncomfortable.

  --  Chuck Versus the Angel de la Muerte [3.03]
%
Awesome: So you come up with a plan yet?
Chuck: Oh yeah. Yeah, the plan is: Sarah and I are going to sneak out of here, and save Casey. While you stay here and save the Premiere. We just gotta take care of those two guards there.
Awesome: Those two soldiers with machine guns. You and what army?
Chuck: Uh, that would be Sarah, and, uh, her fists.

  --  Chuck Versus the Angel de la Muerte [3.03]
%
Assassin: There's enough poison in this needle to kill an army platoon.
Casey: Lucky for me, I'm a marine.

  --  Chuck Versus the Angel de la Muerte [3.03]
%
Casey: Chuck, stop freaking out.
Chuck: Oh, I'm not freaking out. I'll tell you why I'm not freaking out: that would require me overreacting and I don't think it's technically possible to overreact to my brother-in-law being kidnapped!

  --  Chuck Versus Operation Awesome [3.04]
%
Morgan: [to Big Mike] Well, it's just a little unusual that you call me before I even had time to screw anything up.

  --  Chuck Versus Operation Awesome [3.04]
%
Big Mike: Usually mornings are Big Mike Time. Time for reflection and pastry.

  --  Chuck Versus Operation Awesome [3.04]
%
Awesome: You're incredible; is that your spy training?
Chuck: Duck Hunt, Nintendo.

  --  Chuck Versus Operation Awesome [3.04]
%
Awesome: Geez, this guy's heavy.
Chuck: Yeah, well, bad guys don't count carbs, buddy.

  --  Chuck Versus Operation Awesome [3.04]
%
Hannah: Wait. This Morgan person is real? This store you work in, it actually exists?
Chuck: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes, to both of those things. Although, even personally, I have quite often wondered if the Buy More was an insane asylum.

  --  Chuck Versus First Class [3.05]
%
Shaw: Is Chuck Bartowski a real spy?
Sarah: Yes, of course he is. I mean his training has been irregular and he was a civilian only two years ago.
Shaw: Well, these mission reports tell different story. Sometimes he sounds like Bond, and other times it's like a Jerry Lewis movie.

  --  Chuck Versus First Class [3.05]
%
Chuck: Listen, I'm an integral member of this team, okay? My voice should be heard.
Casey: Oh, your pre-pubescent girl screams are going to be duly noted.

  --  Chuck Versus First Class [3.05]
%
Jeff: [Casey's smoking a cigar] This is a no smoking store.
Morgan: Thanks Jeff. You know what, my lieutenant has the right to smoke a cigar if he wants. Or he can put it out. Mr. Casey.
[Casey puts out the cigar in his hand]
Morgan: Anyone else want to leave?

  --  Chuck Versus First Class [3.05]
%
Chuck: [the flight attendant pulls a weapon on Chuck] I am so writing a letter to the airline about this.

  --  Chuck Versus First Class [3.05]
%
Lester: [under the effects of brainwashing] Morgan Grimes is the kindest, warmest, most understanding human being I've ever known in my life.

  --  Chuck Versus First Class [3.05]
%
Chuck: So, uh, that first day you came into the Buy More, when we first met, what did they tell you about me?
Casey: What do you think? You hadn't had a date in over a year, and they don't waste the blondes on just anyone.
Chuck: Uh, it hadn't been a year, okay, thanks.
Sarah: They thought you and I could connect.
Chuck: I remember you left me your card, so I could call you, so we could go out. Felt like I was having the luckiest day of my life. God, I was pathetic.
Sarah: No, you were sweet and innocent. I liked you. It made it much harder.

  --  Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler [3.06]
%
Casey: Yogurt time.
Chuck: Most important meal of the day.

  --  Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler [3.06]
%
Jeff: It's my constitutional right to fornicate!

  --  Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler [3.06]
%
Casey: Credit card charges: mostly video games, comic books. Phone records indicate only one female caller in the last year: sister.
Chuck: I feel so sorry for this guy, he seems so lonely.
Casey: Oh, whoops. That's your old file, Bartowski.

  --  Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler [3.06]
%
Chuck: What's in Dubai?
Casey: Weap-Con, the greatest weapons convention in the world. I go every year. I find it incredibly relaxing. It looks like I'll get to write this year's off as a business trip.

  --  Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler [3.06]
%
Morgan: Anything you want to tell me about?
Chuck: No. Is there Anything you want to ask me?
Morgan: No.
Chuck: Okay, good talk!
Morgan: One of our best!

  --  Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler [3.06]
%
Hannah: Who is that?
Morgan: Super hot blond, heart of ice? Yeah. That's Chuck's ex, Sarah.
Hannah: Oh. What's their deal?
Morgan: Well, deal is Sarah dumped his ass and, uh, broke his heart. And now she can't resist coming back here to stomp on it.

  --  Chuck Versus the Mask [3.07]
%
Hannah: [about Sarah and Shaw] Any idea what she's doing here?  other than making you jealous with that ridiculously good looking date of hers?
Chuck: Ridiculously good looking? Wha- him, him? Meh, yeah if you're into that strong, Supermany type of a guy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Mask [3.07]
%
Nicos Vassilis: [realizing that Chuck stole the mask] Oh, he's good. A real Casanova this one...He used the blond to get into the vault...and seduced the computer girl to access the security system.

  --  Chuck Versus the Mask [3.07]
%
Sarah: Chuck, you're not going to have us forever. The Intersect was designed so agents could work autonomously.
Shaw: We're your training wheels and your performance tells me that it's about time for us to come off.
Casey: I hope you're ready for your big boy bike, Bartowski.

  --  Chuck Versus the Mask [3.07]
%
Chuck: If I have to see you with someone else, it might as well be a hero. Right?
Sarah: What can I say? I have a type.

  --  Chuck Versus the Mask [3.07]
%
Chuck: Ridiculous? He couldn't keep his hands off of you all night. And the way he brings you coffee every morning? Seriously? You don't see the... You got to be blind.
Sarah: You're one to talk.
Chuck: Well, what is that supposed to mean?
Sarah: Oh, nothing. It's just that, ever since Hannah showed up at the Buy More, she hasn't been able to keep her hands off you.
Chuck: Cut the girl a break.
Sarah: You guys are cute together.
Chuck: Hannah and I are colleagues. Forgive me for trying to be professional.
Sarah: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize professional meant having her perfume lathered all over you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Mask [3.07]
%
Sarah: Keep your coffee and your cheesy come-ons to yourself.
Shaw: Then I should apologize to Casey.
Casey: Hey Shaw, thanks for the coffee. It's just the way I like it, black and bitter.

  --  Chuck Versus the Mask [3.07]
%
[Chuck has adopted an assassin's persona]
Casey: Not bad, Bartowski.
Chuck: Who the hell is "Bartowski"?

  --  Chuck Versus the Fake Name [3.08]
%
Casey: Walker and Shaw knew you were in over your head. They went to fix dinner for your date.
Chuck: They did, huh?
Casey: Yeah. Weird huh? Walker helping you get laid.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fake Name [3.08]
%
Big Mike: I'm not gonna lie to you, boys. Bartowski is killing it with the ladies.
Lester: I know. First there was that hot girl from Stanford...
Jeff: Jill.
Lester: Yeah.
Jeff: Then the brunette with the overpriced deli...
Big Mike: Lou. She was a fine, miniature piece of woman.
Lester: And now Hannah! I'd like to moisturize her feet with my saliva.
Jeff: Don't you get it? None of them matter. Chuck may try to replace her...but when he's with Sarah, the light in his eyes shines brightly.
Big Mike: [tearing up] Damn onions.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fake Name [3.08]
%
Casey: Five people in the world can make this shot, huh? Guess I'm one of them.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fake Name [3.08]
%
Hannah: [to Chuck, after he breaks up with her] Look, I have dated a lot of liars before, so I usually know how to spot them. But you...You're, like, the best I've ever seen...I hope that your lies keep you warm at night.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fake Name [3.08]
%
Morgan: I cannot believe I'm saying this, but you're fired.
Chuck: What? You're firing me from the Buy More?
Morgan: Buy More? No. Are you kidding me? You're the best Nerd Herder we have. I need you here. I'm firing you as my best friend!

  --  Chuck Versus the Beard [3.09]
%
Del: Well, it's an interesting group of employees you've put together here.
Big Mike: Oh, they scare me too. Ha ha ha.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beard [3.09]
%
Casey: Because the only thing I hate more than hippie, neo-liberal fascist anarchists are the hypocrite fat-cat suits they eventually grow up to become.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beard [3.09]
%
Morgan: So if Sarah is your handler, does that make her your beard? In other words, like...Is your whole relationship a fake? Because, ah, buddy, that's-that's just awful.
Chuck: Why, because we never had sex?
Morgan: No, I just felt like, having to be...You never had sex with that girl? That's not...No, no, it's awful you had to pretend to be in a relationship with somebody that you clearly love.
Chuck: Sarah and I are over, you know.
Morgan: No, you're not. You're a good liar, Chuck, but you're not that good, all right? You lied to me for three years but I always knew. You loved that girl. I mean, I saw the way you looked at her. We all did. It's okay, you don't have to deny it. You tell me you don't love Sarah.
Chuck: You know what, you're right buddy. I do love Sarah. I kept telling myself that I didn't. That I wouldn't, I couldn't but I do...Morgan, you have no idea how badly I needed to get all this off my chest. Thank you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beard [3.09]
%
Shaw: We'll just have to put Grimes in Witness Protection. We'll move him out of Burbank tonight after dark.
Chuck: Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. Hang on-hang on a second, Morgan is not going anywhere. Okay.
Shaw: Chuck, he knows your secret.
Chuck: Yeah well so do a lot of people. Awesome knows and we didn't put him underground.
Casey: Yeah, because Awesome's awesome and Grimes is a moron.
Shaw: It's just too dangerous. We have no reason to believe we can trust him.
Chuck: Yes, we do. We have 22 reasons why we can trust him. That's the number of years that Morgan has been my best friend. And yes he has his faults,granted, but one thing he is, is loyal. And he will never betray me or my secret.
Sarah: He's right.
Chuck: Thank you. Look, I'm flashing, I'm a spy again because I have my best friend back. You need the intersect and I need him. So Morgan Grimes is staying exactly where he belongs which is the Burbank Buy More.

  --  Chuck Versus the Beard [3.09]
%
Morgan: [to Chuck] Wow...Wow! I don't... My best friend is a spy?  This is unbelievable! This is the best news I've ever heard! Holy smokes, it makes perfect sense, too. Why we stopped hanging out and talking. I thought I lost you, buddy. I thought I lost you. But you were out saving the world? Chuck, you are officially rehired as my best friend.
  --  Chuck Versus the Beard [3.09]
%
[Chuck & Morgan watching Morgan's stakeout video]
Morgan: Twenty-one hundred & forty-three pm. There's a chill in the air and a hint of vanilla. [Chuck advances videotape]  Man enters Casey's apartment.
Chuck: [Watching Morgan's recording and hearing a static sound] Is that static?
Morgan: Carrots, actually.
[Chuck stares at him]
Morgan: Well, I'm sorry, I get hungry on a stakeout.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tic Tac [3.10]
%
Sarah: Casey committed treason. And he's still refusing to talk. They're moving him to a black site in Thailand... Outside of US torture jurisdictions.
Chuck: When?
Sarah; Tomorrow morning.
Chuck; Okay, then we've got to break him out before then and clear his name.
Sarah: If we do this, and if we get caught, we're gonna be tried for treason, and you're gonna lose everything and you're never going to get a chance to be a real spy. Is that what you want?
Chuck: It's Casey.
Sarah: I was hoping you'd say that

  --  Chuck Versus the Tic Tac [3.10]
%
Sarah: I thought you had changed.
Chuck: What do you mean?
Sarah: Look, I know that you wanna be the perfect spy and I know what it means to you and what you sacrificed to get there. But, please don't lose that guy that I met three years ago. Don't give up on the things that make you great.
Chuck: I'll always be that guy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tic Tac [3.10]
%
Colonel Keller: Tonight at 2200, Lt Alex Coburn will be killed in battle, die a hero and will be given a hero's funeral. From this point on your name is John Casey. Make it a good life soldier.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tic Tac [3.10]
%
Casey: [to Chuck] I made my decision between love and love of country a long time ago, and it was the right decision for me. You have to make a decision whether that's the right one for you. Walker's a good woman. It's still not too late.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tic Tac [3.10]
%
Chuck: [to Casey] We gotta get you reinstated, buddy. Without a license to kill you are a menace to society.

  --  Chuck Versus the Final Exam [3.11]
%
Sarah: Morning, Chuck.
Chuck: [startled] Dah. Good, what, hi. Hi, how long...How long have you been here? Or are you really here? I...I could be asleep right now. I very well could be asleep right now. I have some of the most vivid dreams sometimes.
Sarah: Chuck, you're awake. Please sit down. Your mission has started. This is how a real agent gets missions in the field.
Chuck: Boy, you surprising them in the kitchen? That must involve a lot of travel.

  --  Chuck Versus the Final Exam [3.11]
%
Casey: You're not seriously thinking that new clothes are gonna somehow make me, less me, do you?
Big Mike: What I do know, is to get your head right, you gotta get your threads right. Now get on the box and let Clarence put some new feathers on you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Final Exam [3.11]
%
Chuck: Well, ah, I guess that makes two changed men.
Casey: What, you?
Chuck: Ya...Buddy I just passed my first solo spy test last night. This is it, I'm going to the show. I-I really wanted to tell you beforehand. I'm sorry that I didn't, but you know top secret. You understand.
Casey: You took your test last night? And you passed?
Chuck: Oh yeah. With flying colors man...And I think we both know that I have you to thank for that. So, I...I wanted to give you a little something. [Gives Casey box ]
Casey: Ah. [Casey opens box to see a gun inside]
Chuck: I don't think they are going to miss it down in Castle. Do you?
Casey: You know that giving away a government issued firearm is a felony, don't you? But it was a thoughtful felony.
Chuck: Honestly, everything is coming up roses right now. I've passed my test...Ah, you are joining the world of human beings. So proud of you! Kudos for that. And Sarah has invited me for dinner tonight, alone at Union Station. So...
Casey: You sure you're completed your test?
Chuck: Yeah. Yeah, like I said, I've passed. Celebration time now.
Casey: Okay. You just be careful out there. Ready for anything.
Chuck: A good spy always is, right?

  --  Chuck Versus the Final Exam [3.11]
%
Chuck: What does all this mean? Casey. I mean technically I failed my test.
Casey: You need to understand that for Walker, Shaw and Beckman, you passed the test. To them, you killed Perry, doing exactly what you were trained to do.
Chuck: Yeah except that I didn't do it. You did.
Casey: Chuck, I'm a civilian. Which means technically under the law what happened tonight was a murder. No one can know the truth about that ever. Not even Sarah. She would be implicated too.
Chuck: But, all that means I'm not a real spy. I don't know who I am; don't know what I am.
Casey: I can't answer that one for you Chuck.
Chuck: Hey...Why did you do it?
Casey: Because you weren't going to. You're not a killer Chuck.
Chuck: Thanks.

  --  Chuck Versus the Final Exam [3.11]
%
Chuck: I love you, Sarah Walker. Always have.

  --  Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]
%
Chuck: Ellie, hey. Um, look, I can explain.
Ellie: Chuck, listen to me.
Chuck: No. I know exactly what you're going to say. And you're absolutely right. It was completely immature of me to get everyone involved like that.
Ellie: Chuck, you're not listening.
Chuck: Stupid? Maybe stupid's the word you're looking for. I get it. I went too far.
Ellie: You didn't go far enough, Chuck. Sarah is special. I know it. You know it. If you love her, if she's the one, then you don't stop. You don't quit. You never go too far. You are a Bartowski, Chuck. Start acting like one.

  --  Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]
%
Sarah: No lying - that was our rule.
Chuck: In all fairness, I was just - you know, keeping a secret. I wasn't lying.
Sarah: New rule: No secrets. No lies.
Chuck: Starting now.
Sarah: Starting now!

  --  Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]
%
Awesome: Morgan? Why don't you let me handle this? No offense, but I've had my fair share of ladies.
Morgan: That's because you live in a bubble. Okay? Take a look at yourself. Go ahead. It's a freakish bubble of handsomeness. Now look at me. No bubble, no bubble. I've gotta be completely verbal.

  --  Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]
%
Morgan: We know exactly what you look like, Shaw. Six foot two, 220, raven-black hair. Very attractive.

  --  Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]
%
Jeff: [Jeffster have been following Shaw's meeting with the ring] Stalkers log, Stalkee is behind a gray van, with another male, possibly for a sexual encounter. Both men are physically fit, should be lively.
Lester: Jeffrey. Don't make me afraid to be alone with you.

  --  Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]
%
Chuck: Look, I don't want to pester you, Sarah  uh, or become some-some nuisance that you can't avoid. I've- I've seen Morgan go down that road far too many times to count. And since I've already given the fancy, eloquent version of this speech before, right now I'm just gonna be blunt and honest. I love you. One more time just because it feels really nice to say, I love you. I feel like I've been bottling this up forever. I love you.
Sarah: Chuck, you don't have...
Chuck: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-I'm getting out of hand, but, look, you were right in Prague. You and I, we're perfect for each other and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

  --  Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]
%
Casey: I just wanted to come by and tell you something about Bartowski.
Sarah: Well, if you came to plead his case, then that's really not necessary.
Casey: No he didn't send me. He doesn't know I'm here. I just wanted to tell you something in case it changed anything. He didn't kill the mole.
Sarah: What?
Casey: I did. He didn't have the stones to pull the trigger. Kid's not a killer. He's just not wired that way; unlike us. Just thought you should know.

  --  Chuck Versus the American Hero [3.12]
%
Sarah: Thank you for saving me. I appreciated the tank.

  --  Chuck Versus the Other Guy [3.13]
%
Chuck: She said she couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in her. Well, I believed in her. I just didn't believe in me.
Morgan: Dude, you are misquoting the line! And you are ruining Pretty in Pink for me!

  --  Chuck Versus the Other Guy [3.13]
%
Chuck: Hey.
Sarah: Mm.
Chuck: How you feeling?
Sarah: Oh, what happened?
Chuck: Everything's okay now.
Sarah: What about Shaw?
Chuck: He's dead. I'm sorry.
Sarah: Oh, my God, we... there was a... there was a cafe and... and a bridge, and he tried to kill me, and... Oh, my God, you shot him.
Chuck: I couldn't let him hurt you, Sarah. Trust me, I did what I had to do. But I'm still the same guy. I'm still Chuck. I promise.
Sarah: You saved me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Other Guy [3.13]
%
Chuck: But earlier on in my...drunken haze...I realized that I hadn't asked you a...a question. A really important question that I'd like to ask you now if that's okay. Just once for the record...Sarah, do you love me?
[Long pause]
Chuck: Wow. I'm, uh, I'm in my underwear. I'm sitting in my underwear holding a plastic guitar. There's a very good chance I'm making a complete fool of myself, isn't there?
Sarah: Yes.
Chuck: I should probably put some pants on.
Sarah: No, Chuck...Yes.
Chuck: What?...Uh, what?
Sarah: Chuck, I fell for you a long long time ago. After you fixed my phone, and before you started defusing bombs with computer viruses. So, yes. [chuckles] Yes.
Chuck: Wait, wait...What about my Red Test?
Sarah: Casey told me. He told me that he killed the mole because you couldn't do it. And it was the best news I've ever heard. It means you haven't changed. You're still Chuck...you're still my Chuck.

  --  Chuck Versus the Other Guy [3.13]
%
Chuck: So now they're in Paris, Sarah and Shaw, and Shaw, this time for real, he's working for the ring. Now I know, I know that you can't help me anymore, I-I know all that, but Sarah is gonna die without us. I can't do this alone.
Casey: But I can't help you anymore. I'm not a spy.
Chuck: But you are a spy! You're the ultimate spy!
Morgan: Was...Chuck was, but the man's been Buy More'd.  That right. You've deluded yourself into thinking Buy More is your life. Wake up John, Okay? Because we need you to get on this plane, Chuck needs you to get on this plane. If not, that's cool. You know, find yourself on Friday night with Jeff and Lester's crew hanging out in Woodland Hills. I know this because I was that guy. But Chuck and Sarah and you, Casey, you showed me that I could be so much more. I'm meant for something, to be a spy. What about you? What do you have left in the tank? What do you want to be when you grow...[Casey slams Morgan into a wall]
Casey: Morgan go to my closet and get me my suit. The black one.

  --  Chuck Versus the Other Guy [3.13]
%
General Beckman: [on computer video] Chuck, Sarah, excellent work. I've consulted with Colonel Casey, and he brought me up to speed. I'll expect a full report when you get back to Burbank.
Chuck: Actually, General, I think we're gonna need a few more days in Paris.
General Beckman: No, I want you back ASAP. We have a new mission. Last night a team of Peruvian assassins broke into...
[Sarah turns computer around so they can kiss]
General Beckman: Agent Bartowski? Agent Walker? I've lost contact. Get them back.
Chuck: I don't...
[Sarah turns off computer]
Sarah: Then shut up and kiss me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Other Guy [3.13]
%
Chuck: Man pastries for breakfast every morning, Europe is genius!

  --  Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]
%
Morgan: Let's cut the man some slack, he's got the world's fate resting in his hands.
Casey: Oh, I'd say he's got something else resting in his hands.
Morgan: What do you mean?
Casey: Chuck's off the grid with Walker. Do the math Grimes.
[Morgan stares blankly]
Casey: He's going to need a walker when Walker's through with him.
[Morgan still doesn't understand]
Casey: They're having intercourse idiot.

  --  Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]
%
Lester: Jeffrey, you blew the amp. Don't you know it's not the size of the instrument that matters, but how much and how long and how often your mother catches you playing?

  --  Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]
%
General Beckman: You're part in this little impromptu mission is over. I'll arrange for Arnoldo to be picked up by a different Interpol team. Try not to physically assault them.
Chuck: General just so you know, we didn't hit them, or assault them in any way. There was no physical altercation, we just dosed them with pharmaceutical grade narcotics.
General Beckman: Agent Bartowski.
Chuck: You're right that's not making it better.
Sarah: How's she taking it?
Chuck: Really good I think, yeah.

  --  Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]
%
Chuck: I can't hit a girl!
Sarah: I can!

  --  Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]
%
General Beckman: Then don't lie to me.
Chuck: General, look, I think it's important you should know that Sarah and I, we, we are...
General Beckman: Stop right there. Release Agent Walker [Chuck and Sarah are holding hands]. I didn't ask. I don't need to know all the de...
Chuck: But I thought you said no more lies, and... and we... we want to tell you the truth.
General Beckman: No.
Sarah: General, Chuck and I are dating. Exclusively.
General Beckman: I must caution you that allowing your private life to interfere with your professional one can be dangerous. But off the record, it's about damn time.

  --  Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]
%
Sarah: You missed one party. Truth is, I think I got so drunk because I was upset with myself. I'm leaving my little brother.
Chuck: I'm not so little anymore. And, uh, just so you know, you're not leaving me alone.
[Sarah walks in]
Ellie: You guys are back together?
Chuck: We're together.

  --  Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]
%
Chuck: This is gonna be your favorite song. [plays "Feeling Good" by Nina Simone]

  --  Chuck Versus the Honeymooners [3.14]
%
Mr. Turner: Dear God, it's us 30 years ago.
Chuck: Look, Sarah. It's us in 30 years.

  --  Chuck Versus the Role Models [3.15]
%
Ellie: I can't really talk to Devon about anything. He's, like, born to be here. The villagers love him. They have this nickname for him, we can't really pronounce it in Bantu, but it loosely translates to "Dr. Super Fantastic White Person."

  --  Chuck Versus the Role Models [3.15]
%
Sarah: [looking in refrigerator wearing lingerie holding orange juice]
Hey. Uh, do you want some? Hello? Morgan? Hi. Do you want some orange juice?
Morgan: Orange juice? Orange juice. Absolutely. Man, that sounds good. Vitamin Ds are very important- Vitamin Cs. Vitamin C, singular. Great. Sorry. The jug's so big. Jug-

  --  Chuck Versus the Role Models [3.15]
%
Morgan: If you ask me, this whole G man gig is starting to be a real snore. You know? When do I get to hurt on some terrorists?
Casey: Whatever you think you know about being a spy. You're wrong.
Morgan: Oww.
Casey: You're a child, your a liability to the team and you're not doing anything until you've been properly trained. Understood.
Morgan: Wait a minute, does that mean?
Casey: I can't believe I'm going to say this.
Morgan: I'm going to Langley.
Casey: You're not going anywhere. Jackass. I can teach you everything you need to know right here in the store. C'mon.

  --  Chuck Versus the Role Models [3.15]
%
Chuck: No! No, that's not a tranq gun. I am not letting you shoot a tiger. They are endangered and majestic.

  --  Chuck Versus the Role Models [3.15]
%
Chuck: No guns, no flash. Honey, darling, you mind telling me what you've done with our small cache of weapons?
Sarah: I got rid of them, sweetheart.
Chuck: You actually listened to me?
Sarah: I can't quite believe it myself.
Chuck: What have you done with the gun you had at the hotel?
Sarah: I left them in the car.
Chuck: Why would you do that?!
Sarah: Because you told me to!

  --  Chuck Versus the Role Models [3.15]
%
Morgan: Please tell me that Chuck is joking about them sending me to boot camp. They're going to make me shave my beard.
Casey: Relax. You passed.
Morgan: Huh? I failed every test.
Casey: Yes flying colors. You have got to be hands down, bar none the worst candidate I've ever trained. But you got one thing going for you. You got balls.
Morgan: I do?
Casey: How many marines do you know go up against a Bengal tiger unarmed? You have to be a complete idiot.
Morgan: Well, that's the thing. You know, that's, uh, that's me in a nutshell...

  --  Chuck Versus the Role Models [3.15]
%
Lester: I'm just gonna say it: I need a woman. It's been far too long, Jeffrey. A man has needs.
Jeff: So what's the plan?
Lester: I will be hitting on all the applicable women in Electronics, DVDs, and all around the entrances, and the emergency exits.
Jeff: You're leaving me Home Appliances? It's full of lumpy housewives. My favorite.
Lester: You're welcome.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]
%
Lester: Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this--I don't really--but Morgan is in, a, umm...a very bad place.
Anna: Oh, my God, is he okay?
Jeff: No. He's focused, responsible, driven. Pains me to see a man end up like that.
Lester: It's pathetic.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]
%
Chuck: God, I can't believe this is happening.
Dr. Leo Dreyfus: It's happening, Chuck. Disturbing as it may be, you're currently a patient in a psychiatric institution. Best come to terms with that sooner than later.
Chuck: Wow. You really know how to make a guy feel better about his situation, Doc.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]
%
Sarah: Oh, no, no, no. You've made me watch this (the movie Spies Like Us) before. This is ridiculous.
Chuck: Sarah, please. You could learn a lot from spies like these.
Sarah: Are you kidding me? Look at these people. They're breaking about 17 different rules of protocol!
Chuck: Sweetheart, I'm not actually implying that you could learn anything about being a spy from Chevy Chase or Dan Aykroyd I was just simply making a joke.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]
%
Chuck: Hey, Sarah, hey. We need to talk.
Sarah: Sure, Chuck, but...
Chuck: No, look, this is very important.
Sarah: I love you. It shouldn't have taken me this long to say it, but I've never felt this way. Before you, the only future that I could think about was my next mission. And now all I can think about is a future with you. I love you, Chuck.
Chuck: [relieved] I love you too.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]
%
General Beckman: I'm sorry, but the doctor believes the Intersect is overwhelming Chuck's brain. His mental deterioration may be... unavoidable.
Sarah: He told me he was fine.
Beckman: Know that we will do everything possible for him. I care about him, too.

  --  Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]
%
Chuck: [appearing more delusional by the moment] The truth is in the tooth!

  --  Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]
%
Dr. Leo Dreyfus: Let me guess. You're here because of Chuck.
Sarah: Doctor, I know that there has to be something more to his condition. He can't just be deteriorating in this way.
Dr. Leo Dreyfus: Why? Because you care about him?
Sarah: No. You don't understand. He's not like other people. He is... Incredibly special.
Dr. Leo Dreyfus: Huh. Especially to you, I gather.
Sarah: He needs to be okay. I- I need him to be okay. I'd like to go to the hospital tonight and talk to him, try and figure this out, and then help him somehow, you know? Please. I love him.
Dr. Leo Dreyfus: Ever tell him that?
Sarah: Please, Doctor, I'm begging you.
Dr. Leo Dreyfus: You're not the only one.
[opens door to show Casey is there]

  --  Chuck Versus the Tooth [3.16]
%
Casey: Hey, you seen Grimes?
Lester: Lost your friend, did you? Can't find him 'cause he's changed so much? But you can't help but think about the days you guys used to drink together and hold each other for hours and hours just talking about even the silliest little things. Those days are no more.

  --  Chuck Versus the Living Dead [3.17]
%
[Stephen throws a knife at Chuck to prove he's the Intersect and Chuck catches it]
Stephen: I knew it! You downloaded the Intersect 2.0.
Chuck: You threw a knife at my face!
Stephen: Why would you do that, after I worked so hard to get the first one out?
Chuck: Dad! Knife! Face! What if you were wrong?!
Stephen: I'm never wrong.

  --  Chuck Versus the Living Dead [3.17]
%
Sarah: You know, Morgan, you and I... We, uh, we never talk, really.
Morgan: Yeah, well, talking's a bit overrated. Plus, we don't have a lot in common, although I'd like to get to know you better. I mean, I don't feel like there's...
Sarah: Sit.
Morgan: Okay.
Sarah: You're going to tell me exactly what's going on and you're going to do it right now.

  --  Chuck Versus the Living Dead [3.17]
%
Big Mike: I'm a man... a man who once had a dream, too. You ever heard of Earth, Wind & Fire?
Lester: Yeah, they jammed.
Big Mike: For a short time in 1988, we were called Earth, Wind, Fire & Rain. I was Rain.
Lester: My God.
Big Mike: [shows Lester outfit] I can't wear this anymore, but you have the hips of a six-year-old girl. Use them.

  --  Chuck Versus the Living Dead [3.17]
%
Stephen: [after the fight, about Sarah's skills] Does she have the Intersect, too?
Chuck: No, Dad. That's all her.

  --  Chuck Versus the Living Dead [3.17]
%
Morgan: I talked to Captain Awesome.
Casey: And?
Morgan: If he'd have me, I'd let him.

  --  Chuck Versus the Living Dead [3.17]
%
Chuck: [voice-over] My name is Chuck Bartowski, and if you're reading this, it means I'm already dead. I don't know what will end up killing me but I've chosen to be a spy, and there are consequences to that. It may be my emotions that end up doing me in or a slip-up, trying to protect my friends. Or my family, who never wanted me to be a part of this. Or it could be the thing I never saw coming, but I know it's coming.

  --  Chuck Versus the Living Dead [3.17]
%
Ellie: Morgan Grimes, the boy who took my pillow as his date to the junior prom, knows more about my family being spies than I do.

  --  Chuck Versus the Subway [3.18]
%
Sarah: You wanted to see me. Sir.
Shaw: I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you you look great, Walker. Love suits you I guess.

  --  Chuck Versus the Subway [3.18]
%
Casey: [To his daughter] I'm your father!

  --  Chuck Versus the Subway [3.18]
%
Morgan: General, what's happening?
General Beckman: They're shutting down the entire Intersect project, including myself. They apprehended Colonel Casey. Agent Walker is in custody. Bartowski escaped this facility... He is a wanted man. I need you to find him.
As much as it pains me to admit, you are our only hope! You are our only hope! [gets dragged out]
Devon: [to Morgan] Did she mean you or me?

  --  Chuck Versus the Subway [3.18]
%
Alex: I don't know what's going on. All I know is that this customer John kidnaps me, and then he tells me that he's my father, and now there's men chasing us. And I'm sorry. I know that I don't really know you. I'm just a little confused right now.
Morgan: No, no, that's okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. Look, miss, I promise you this...
If John Casey said he's your father, then it's the truth. I trust that man with my life. You have nothing to be afraid of. Not if he's your father.
And in fact, this store's as safe as anywhere, provided you stay away from those two.

  --  Chuck Versus the Subway [3.18]
%
Justin: Shaw, Bartowski's infiltrated the base.
Shaw: Of course he did. [to Sarah] Why won't your boyfriend ever think with an organ besides his heart?
Justin: No, sir, not this one. Bartowski and his father found the other base, the Ring base. Triggered the silent alarm.
Shaw: Dammit!
Casey: I don't know when it happened but our boy became a man. Bartowski's a spy. You picked a good one, Walker. Finally.

  --  Chuck Versus the Subway [3.18]
%
[After Daniel Shaw and other Ring agents apprehend Chuck and his father Stephen, Shaw steals the Governor]
Chuck: I don't need a watch to beat you, Shaw. Come on, aren't you a little curious? I know I am. Don't you wanna know how your intersect stacks up against mine?
Shaw: You're right, Chuck. The fight will be incredible. We're totally equal now. Nothing separates us... Though, there's one thing that is different. You can't function when your emotions have been compromised.
Chuck: Don't worry about that. I've never been more calm.
Shaw: Really? How are you feeling now? [takes out his gun and fatally shoots Stephen]

  --  Chuck Versus the Subway [3.18]
%
Awesome: What are we doing? We don't have a plan!
Morgan: No plan? Never stopped me before.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Casey: [as Ellie and Chuck drive away] Hm. Two Bartowskis. Double the fun.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Lester: [after Jeff picks up phone for no reason] The phone did not ring, Jeffrey.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Shaw: No Gun. Very brave, Chuck. So what's happening?
Chuck: You're under arrest.
Shaw: No, what are you doing here? What's your plan?
Chuck: I'm sorry. Are you asking me to make the classic villain mistake of explaining my dastardly plot to you? You know what? I'd love to.
[points to video camera recording their conversation]
Chuck: I confess we had no idea who the elders were or how to ID them, so we let you do that for us when you warned them to leave the theater, so on behalf of the NSA, the CIA, and of course your local Buy More, I'd just like to say thanks a lot.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Chuck: Sarah, I told Ellie that I'd quit after we stop the Ring, and I meant it. I can't lie to her. You think you could love a regular guy?
Sarah: Well, I fell in love with a regular guy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Steve: Ellie, you're gonna help him. I know it's hard, El, but your... your brother... does have a knack for getting into trouble. But you... you're gonna have to protect Chuck. Be there for him no matter what 'cause you're his big sister. Can you do that for me?

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Shaw: You have to do it. You have to kill me.
Chuck: No, thanks. I've already done that once before.
Shaw: That's what makes you weak.
Sarah: No. That's what makes you great.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Big Mike: [about Jeff and Lester] Sweet Lord, they did it. They actually did it. Those crazy nerds blew up the freaking Buy More!

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Casey: Just so glad you came.
Alex: Me, too. [she hugs Casey] Oh. Okay.
Morgan: Well, 's not much of a hugger, but baby steps, right? I'm glad to see you, Alex. I, too, am glad that you came...
Casey: Step aside. Before I break the rest of your fingers.

  --  Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II [3.19]
%
Chuck: [while Sarah is about to leaving for a mission] What am I, what do I say? What do we...?
Sarah: I love you.
Chuck: That's good. I love you. I like that. I love you, too. Be safe, okay?
Sarah: Nothing is gonna keep me from coming back to you.
Chuck: Better not.

  --  Chuck Versus the Anniversary [4.01]
%
General Beckman: After the success of Operation Bartowski... the president made you a priority.
Chuck: I beg your pardon? The "president" president? Like the actual? You... You're... You're being totally ser... I am out of the spy game.
General Beckman: You're out when I say you're out.

  --  Chuck Versus the Anniversary [4.01]
%
Casey: He really should be here. Chuck's the Intersect. Could use him on a mission like this. I hate cracking into computer systems.
Sarah: Well, he made a promise to his sister. Chuck doesn't want to be a spy and have to lie about it too.
Casey: Your boyfriend needs big boy pants. He's a spy. He's good at it.
Sarah: I know, Casey. You miss him too.
Casey: What? I don't miss him.

  --  Chuck Versus the Anniversary [4.01]
%
Sarah: You ever been in a long distance relationship?
Casey: No. I either leave or they die.

  --  Chuck Versus the Anniversary [4.01]
%
Chuck: [over the radio] Look, clearly you have no idea who I am since you only sent ten of your men to take care of me. So let me break it down for you: if you touch a hair on Sarah's head, I will do to you what I've just done to your men. Do you understand? I'm coming down there now.

  --  Chuck Versus the Anniversary [4.01]
%
Morgan: I get it, I know. You promised her you weren't gonna be a spy, you know? So she clearly cannot know about our little rogue spy team that we're gonna start here outside of the government, secret to the spy world, team of two, army of one, highway to the danger zone, live free or die hard...
Chuck: Buddy?
Morgan: Yeah.
Chuck: This is not the opening of a TV show. This is real life.

  --  Chuck Versus the Anniversary [4.01]
%
Chuck: [As Sarah is defusing a bomb] Sarah, listen, I cannot die without you knowing that I accept you for who you are. Your weird unpacking habits, it doesn't matter to me. Nothing matters. I still love you.
Sarah: You still love me?
Chuck: Sorry, what? What? Did I? Those weren't the best last words, were they?

  --  Chuck Versus the Suitcase [4.02]
%
General Beckman: One of our agents was killed in Milan last night while he was tracking this woman: Sofia Stepanova. [Beckman flashes photos of a scantily clad Stepanova]
Chuck: Heyo. Who do we have taking our surveillance pics? Because those are tremendous! Can you see the way...
[Sarah gives him a look]
Chuck: What? No, no, no, no, I'm just saying, clearly...is she in a bathing suit? I didn't even notice that the first time.
General Beckman: We can all acknowledge that Ms. Stepanova is quite...fetching.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suitcase [4.02]
%
General Beckman: Colonel Casey, after the Yves St. Laurent incident, you will obviously have to sit this one out.
Casey: [quietly to himself] Stab one guy with a stiletto...

  --  Chuck Versus the Suitcase [4.02]
%
Jeff: [Casey hits him with a tranq dart] I think my water just broke.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suitcase [4.02]
%
Sarah: You're my home, Chuck. You always have been.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suitcase [4.02]
%
Lester: Jeff has a new pet rock named Bruce. I asked him, "Why Bruce? " He said when he hits it, doesn't bruise.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suitcase [4.02]
%
Chuck: What's this?
[sees photograph of them in her suitcase]
Sarah: Uh, that's just something that I like to keep in my suitcase... at all times. Whether I'm in Portugal... or Russia... or Burbank. This, uh, makes me feel comfortable. Safe. Look, I know that it's probably taken me longer than a normal girl. But you should know that you're my home, Chuck. You always have been.

  --  Chuck Versus the Suitcase [4.02]
%
Sarah: Chuck, unless you want Beckman to know that we're looking for your mom, we don't have the authority to interrogate Chandler.
Chuck: Well, we don't have the authority to use the supply closet for what it is we use it for, but we do it anyway, don't we? She knows my mom.
Sarah: Fine, but you can't just whip questions out to somebody like Heather Chandler. It's not gonna work. This needs to be a real interrogation.
Chuck: Good cop, bad cop.
Sarah: How about tough cop, silent cop?
Chuck: Okie dokie, which one am I?

  --  Chuck Versus the Cubic Z [4.03]
%
Morgan: I just want you to know that I'm really sorry about the ring.
Big Mike: Marriage isn't about a ring. It's a lifelong commitment of compassion and understanding. Especially for your spouse's idiot relations. All is forgiven.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cubic Z [4.03]
%
Heather: Maybe you're right. Maybe we aren't alike at all. Maybe you are capable of love, affection and vulnerability. I hope so. Chuck seems like a really nice guy. And he's really in love. Are you?
Sarah: Goodbye, Heather.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cubic Z [4.03]
%
Sarah: The other night, when you repeated what Awesome said about us being next having kids. It scared me.
Chuck: Okay.
Sarah: And I wanted to tell you earlier but, um, I didn't. And I've thinking about it all day long.
Chuck: And Heather kept poking the topic with a needle. You're nothing like her.
Sarah: For a long time, I was exactly like her. And it took me a night in the guts of the building to realize that I'm not anymore. At all. And I don't want to be. But I do need to take things slow.
Chuck: I'm not ready for parenthood either.  One day, hopefully. But not now. Not yet, anyway. Who are we kidding? I'm barely on solid food myself.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cubic Z [4.03]
%
Machine: Hello, Colonel Casey. Welcome to the new Castle override mainframe. How can I help you today?
Casey: You gotta be kidding me.
Machine: I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
Casey: Location of fire emergency override.
Machine: Did you say "hire nursery overhige"?
Casey: Why would I say "overhige", it's not even a real word!

  --  Chuck Versus the Cubic Z [4.03]
%
Chuck: You tell me "ready or not ready".
Sarah: Okay.
Chuck: We're on a trip. One of us forgets our toothbrush. Do we share?
Sarah: I am ready to share your toothbrush.
Chuck: Oh, oh, using the bathroom. Door open or shut?
Sarah: Door shut! Always.
Chuck: Preferably with the sink running or the radio on.
Sarah: Yes.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cubic Z [4.03]
%
Chuck: [Sarah's calling Casey] He did just get shot in the leg, and is resting up. So he probably won't be available.
Casey: Casey. What do you need?
Sarah: A little bored, Casey?
Casey: Dear God, give me something to do!

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Chuck: We are crap communicators.
Sarah: What?
Chuck: Why are we so afraid to talk about the whole ring thing, you know? I mean we're in love, you wear your teeth-bleaching system in front of me... We should be able to talk, no?

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Chuck: Well, in the meantime, let's keep going with the questions, heh? What are five words you'd use to describe your partner?
Sarah: Brunette... Tall...
Chuck: Mmmmkay, yeah, good, close. But what about like charming, terminally handsome, incredibly intelligent...

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Chuck: So, where were we on the conversations?
Sarah: Personal time.
Chuck: Oh yes, yes. Morgan is going to need at least five hours of my time every week for Halo purposes.
Sarah: And I need thirty minutes of complete silence before sleep.
Chuck: Which is going to be a challenge with my cuddling needs.

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Morgan: [to Alex] Oh, movies! Good, good, good, let's see what we got... Roman Holiday?
Alex: Yeah. Nothing makes me feel better when I'm sick than Princess Audrey.
Morgan; Stop it, this is my sick day movie, too.
Alex: Come on. Seriously?
Casey: Okay, Grimes, you're done.

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Sarah: Are you awake? Can you hear me, Chuck?
[Chuck is seemingly asleep. Sarah sighs]
Sarah: I love you, Chuck. Nothing's ever going to change that. And if you ask me for real, then my answer would be yes.
[Chuck smiles in his sleep]

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Alex: [Entering Casey's apartment] Morgan! [Starts to hug Morgan]
Morgan Alex!
Casey: Daughter.
Alex: [Alex and Morgan break their hug] Dad... You're in a wheelchair. You said that you were just sick.
Casey: Oh, just shot in the leg. Fine.

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Turrini: Actually, Costa Gravas is very stable. We have peace now. And Subway sandwich franchises.

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Big Mike: Boy, when has anyone ever learned anything important from a book? You got to take your woman, kiss her on the lips, and see what happens. If you hear sweet, smooth jams rise up from your soul, then that's your answer.
Morgan: I've never, ever heard smooth jams.

  --  Chuck Versus the Coup D'etat [4.04]
%
Chuck: [Receiving a call] They put his tracker on a what? ...No. God, no! Don't shoot it! [Ends the call. To Sarah] They took off his tracker and put it on a cat.

  --  Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.05]
%
Morgan: I've been dating your daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Technically, we're on the rocks right now, kind of... but, you know, things were getting pretty serious. Holding hands. And, uh, man... the kissing was out of control. But I've been the perfect gentleman. I need you to know, always a perfect gentleman.
Although, it definitely felt like pretty soon... she'd be spending the night.
Casey: [growling] I will kill you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.05]
%
Chuck: I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt. If this thing goes off so, I want you to go. Now, please. Save yourself.
Sarah: OK, you know what? You could have told me that before I climbed under those lasers.
Chuck: I.. What I was... I...
Sarah: Chuck, you are being ridiculous! C'mon! Even for a man that is trying to free himself from high-tech explosives. Casey and I know the risk but of course we are gonna help you. This is your mom.
Chuck: I love you, you know that? And... And I'd say that even if you weren't in the process of saving my life right now. Which, does by the way, make you about 20-25% sexier in my book. All right, 50.

  --  Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.05]
%
Chuck: [About Alex] Still haven't told Casey yet, huh?
Morgan: No.
Chuck: Well, be careful how you break the news to him. He might kill you accidentally.

  --  Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.05]
%
Casey: [Calling the Buy More] Casey. Code red. I've been drugged. Don't know how long I can stay conscious. Need extraction. In an alley. 4th and Hill. I'll be in a dumpster.
Jeff: Don't worry, Casey. I know that dumpster!
Casey: Wait! Who is this? Where's Chuck?
Jeff: We're on our way! [into the PA system] Lester! Nerd Herd emergency. Man down! Meet me at the Herder.

  --  Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.05]
%
Jeff: We wake up in some of the best dumpsters in the city.

  --  Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.05]
%
Casey: [to Morgan about Alex] You break her heart, I break your everything.

  --  Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.05]
%
Sarah: Is this the part where I'm supposed to ask you what you're thinking about?
Chuck: My mom. I thought she was a prisoner that needed to be saved, and...then I come to find out she's just one of the bad guys.
Sarah: Chuck, we don't know what side your mom is on.
Chuck: Maybe not. But there's one thing I do know. In order to find the one person who...left me, I've endangered the lives of everyone who would never leave me. Morgan, Casey, you. I'm gonna stop looking for my mom.
Sarah: No. Chuck...
Chuck: No, it's okay. I thought I had to bring my family back together, but I don't. You guys, Awesome, Ellie, you're my family. I love you.
Sarah: I love you. I'll see you inside.
Chuck: Yeah.
[Sarah goes inside; Chuck's phone rings and he answers it]
Chuck: Hello.
Mary: Hello, Chuck. It's your mother.

  --  Chuck Versus the Couch Lock [4.05]
%
Sarah: What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost.
Chuck: I just talked to one. That was my mom.

  --  Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror [4.06]
%
Jeff: So now... get ready to see some of the scariest things in the world. Old people. Public showers.
Morgan: What's going on, Chuck?
Jeff: Inter-species relationships.
Morgan: Okay. Well, stop now. Stop. Uh, huh, I'll be honest with you, this might be one of the worst things I've ever seen.
Lester: One of the best things?
Jeff: I think he said "best."
Morgan: I don't want any customers in here. Guys, it's scary... but just in a really bad way.
Lester: I give up. I give up.
Jeff: Babies in costume.
Chuck: Really?
Jeff: Is it a baby or is it a snail? I don't know.

  --  Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror [4.06]
%
Mary: [Sarah and Mary have their guns pointed at each other] You brought someone. I told you to come alone.
Chuck: No, no,no, no. Technically not just someone, my girlfriend - Sarah. Sarah this is my mom - Mary. I don't know how to say this exactly, but please don't kill each other.

  --  Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror [4.06]
%
Lester: Um, listen, we have a few questions regarding these Halloween decorations. Um, What are we allowed to show?
Morgan: What do you mean?
Jeff: I know a really good morgue that gives discounts on unclaimed merchandise. May-be we could sprickle some cold dead ones in here.
Morgan: Right, I'm gonna say no on the the dead bodies.
Jeff: So, what, I just lose my deposit?

  --  Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror [4.06]
%
Chuck: [Mary is driving nearly 100 mph and aiming her gun at him] Mom? You hit one pot-hole and this ride gets very messy very quick.

  --  Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror [4.06]
%
Chuck: Oh, I'm such an idiot, Sarah. After everything I knew about my mom, everything I learned... I still trusted her anyway. That's really great spy work.
Sarah: You know, Chuck, even in the spy world, where everything is run by deceit... you still manage to somehow genuinely trust people. You know what? That's what I love about you.
Chuck: That's what you love about me, huh? Not my dashing good looks? Or the giant computer in my brain?
Sarah: And you're funny even if your mom has shot you in the heart.

  --  Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror [4.06]
%
Casey: Chuck, how'd you get here?
Chuck: My mom dropped me off.

  --  Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror [4.06]
%
Morgan: [to Sarah] We all know there is a heart of gold underneath this cold exterior... [he places his hand over her heart]
Sarah: Morgan, please don't touch my chest.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Fight [4.07]
%
Sarah: [about Tuttle (Volkoff)] You know, you only just met him and he knows everything about us! How do you know you can trust him?
Chuck: Oh, oh! That's right. I totally forgot. You can't believe in anyone unless Beckman tells you to.
Sarah: Oh, that is not fair!

  --  Chuck Versus the First Fight [4.07]
%
Morgan: You know, a couple's first fight actually sets the tone for all future arguments. Trust me, I'm going through it right now myself.
Chuck: You and Alex?
Morgan: No, me and Casey, actually.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Fight [4.07]
%
Chuck: Listen, I was just waiting until I calmed down a little bit. Okay? It's our first real fight as a couple, and everyone knows that sets the tone for all future fights.
Sarah: Oh, you're going to set the precedent by telling everybody what you're thinking and feeling before me?
Chuck: See, that just makes it sound bad.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Fight [4.07]
%
Chuck: Buddy, I need your help on a super top secret mission.
Morgan: Do I get to parachute out of a plane on a wild horse?
Chuck: No, you do not. Because nobody... ever does. But you do get to wear an earpiece.
Morgan: Sold!

  --  Chuck Versus the First Fight [4.07]
%
Sarah: Any luck with the....
Chuck: Tests? You'd have heard. By that I mean you would have heard my giant sigh of relief. Even in Moscow.
Sarah: You'll get it back soon enough.
Casey: When?  What's the timeline?
Chuck: I'm hoping very soon.
Casey: I haven't been on a mission in a month. I wake up with my trigger finger twitching. It's itchy. Literally it itches.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fear of Death [4.08]
%
Rye: Well, I don't believe that the psychological rock can be hoisted off the Intersect by watching kittens play with yarn. My method is - physical, psychological, painful, brutal.
Chuck: Brutal? Can't wait to get started.
Rye: Chuck, if you're serious about restoring the Intersect, then I promise you, at the end of this process, you will be a spy again. What do you say? You with me?
Chuck: Let's get physical.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fear of Death [4.08]
%
Chuck: Do you really think that Sarah is the emotional rock that is sitting on the Intersect?
Rye: Why do you always call for her right before you flash? You did it in the bedroom and in the vault.
Chuck: Yeah, well you know....
Rye: Scared! Perfectly normal for a Nerd Herder. But a spy, Chuck, handles his fear on his own.
Chuck: Or her own.
Rye: Ask yourself a question. Are you a spy? Or are you a guy with a spy girlfriend?
Chuck: I'm a spy!

  --  Chuck Versus the Fear of Death [4.08]
%
Beckman: Bartowski and Rye, Capture the Belgium and recover the fake stones. Until we know whats really on those microdots this is code red and could likely to get very ugly.
Sarah: General, at this point I feel it is essential I go with Chuck and Agent Rye to Switzerland.
Chuck: I think Sarah should let us handle this seeing how we have determined this is the only way I will get the Intersect back working.
Sarah: Chuck.  We are talking about real danger now.
Chuck: I'm sorry, I can only handle fake danger?
Sarah: I know the Intersect is important but so far none of Agent Rye's therapies have work. The microdot contains highly sensitive information that the wrong people will kill for.
Chuck: Well I can take care of these wrong people without you holding my hand.
Sarah: Why? It doesn't make sense to risk your life.
Chuck: Because this is what I do. I am a spy.
Sarah: No. Chuck you're not...... Not right now.

  --  Chuck Versus the Fear of Death [4.08]
%
Casey: Walker.. A word please.
Sarah: Can it wait?
Casey: No.
Sarah: He's not talking... and he's a smirker.
Casey: You know just because I helped you bring him here doesn't mean I'm giving you free reign. You need to cool down. Get some rest.
Sarah: I'm not going anywhere.
Casey: I was wrong about you. You're not acting like a worried girlfriend. No, you're acting like a spy I used to know.  Before Chuck. Langston Graham's "wild card enforcer." I didn't like that Sarah Walker. You know why? Because she was unpredictable. Now you're going to go home. I insist.

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Sarah: Feel like talking yet?
Chanarong: An American agent in a government facility would never use any of that. I'm not afraid.
Sarah: You're right. Normally I wouldn't threaten the subject with death by ammonia injection. Burning somebody from the inside out? Doesn't sound like something that's in the Geneva Convention does it? But this man I'm looking for? He loves me. He wants to marry me.
Chanarong: I see. It's amazing what a woman will do to find a husband. Even the toughest spies in the world are just racing against that biological clock. Tick, tick, tick, tock.
Sarah: You got me. I'm just a needy love crazed girl on a husband hunt. [she jams the needle in Chanarong's neck] Who's trained in over 200 ways to kill you. Afraid yet?

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Sarah: [to Casey] You're right. I'm different without Chuck. And I don't like it.

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Morgan: How you holding up?
Sarah: Not great.
Morgan: Yeah... no. Me, either. I've had this awful taste in my mouth ever since Chuck disappeared. Which makes me think, wherever he is, he's probably eating something icky. Strange twin thing.
Sarah: Do you know what this is?
[shows Morgan a map]
Morgan: No. No. No, I've never seen it before.
Sarah: I really miss him.
Morgan: Fine, okay? I-I fold. It's Chuck's proposal plan. hate myself.
Sarah: Chuck was planning on proposing?
Morgan: Yeah.

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Morgan: I don't know. I mean, since he lost the Intersect, the proposal plan got put on hold.
Sarah: Why? Did he think I wouldn't want to marry him without the Intersect? Is that how I made him feel?
Morgan: No. No! Chuck knew that... Chuck knows that you love him, Sarah, okay? It's just, you're kind of a big fish, you know? And to a regular guy with no supercomputer in his brain, I gotta think that's pretty intimidating.
Sarah: That's not the reason why I love Chuck. I want to spend the rest of my life with Chuck - with or without the Intersect.
Morgan: That's fantastic! That's great. Yeah, and he knows that right? Because you told him?

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Sarah: How did you find me?
Morgan: Half of Thailand's talking about the giant blond she-male tearing through their town. Are you kidding me? But it's okay now, Casey and I are here.
Casey: Walker. What are you doing here? All alone. This place is nothing but scoundrels, assassins and warlords. The scum of the earth.
Local Waitress: Arr Mr Casey. Your usual?

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Morgan: You should've seen Sarah without you. Man, I mean, maybe it was a good thing that you lost the Intersect, 'cause now you know that girl loves you. I mean, she will do anything for you.
Chuck: Thanks, buddy.
Morgan: Yeah, no, seriously, anything, okay? I had to pick a Thai tooth out of her arm.
Chuck: Ow. I got people who'll take teeth and leeches for me. I'm a lucky guy.

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Sarah: I came to rescue you. I'm right here, Chuck. Chuck, please, come on.
[disconnecting Chuck from machine]
Morgan: Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Tell him what you told me before, okay? He'll hear that, I know it. This is your chance. Don't-Don't be Sarah Walker the spy, be Sarah Walker the girlfriend.
Sarah: Chuck, please. Chuck, I love you. Please wake up. I have so much that I want to tell you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care if you have the Intersect or not. Without you, I'm nobody. I'm nothing but a spy. Come back to me, Chuck. I want to marry you.

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Casey: [Takes gun off Morgan] You are not getting bullets for a long, long time.

  --  Chuck Versus Phase Three [4.09]
%
Chuck: [as Morgan brings him to pole dancing] Morgan, what sort of hand-to-hand combat did you sign us up for?
Morgan: Strip-kick. Yeah, it mixes the self-defense of krav maga with the intense core workout of pole dancing. I saw an infomercial on it.

  --  Chuck Versus the Leftovers [4.10]
%
Mary: [saving Chuck and Sarah from Volkoff's assassins] Come with me if you want to live.

  --  Chuck Versus the Leftovers [4.10]
%
Mary: Charles is my son.
Volkoff: [pointing a gun at Chuck's head] Really?
Mary: Really.
Volkoff: [to Sarah] Really?
Sarah: Really.
Volkoff: [to Chuck] Really?
Chuck: Really!

  --  Chuck Versus the Leftovers [4.10]
%
Volkoff: So. A son and a daughter. You didn't think I could have a relationship with your family? Kids love me!

  --  Chuck Versus the Leftovers [4.10]
%
Mary: We've had a our dinner, you met the family, we're leaving.
Volkoff: But what sort of potential father-in-law would I be if I didn't set an example. Chuck has to learn... you make a threat you have to follow through with it. [Volkoff cocks pistol] I didn't have to do that but I just really like the sound.
Mary: Alexei stop. [points her gun at Volkoff]
Volkoff: My love, what are you doing?
Mary: This is exactly why I didn't tell you about my family. You don't know how to love someone, you only know how to control them. But you should know that I could never love a man that could do anything to hurt my son. So drop it. [Volkoff lowers gun]
Mary: Alexei, you know I am loyal to you. But I will not return with you until you promise me that my family and their friends remain safe. And if they don't, I will end you.
Volkoff: You see.  That is a real threat.[Volkoff walks away]
Mary: Chuck. I'm sorry for everything. I hope some day you will trust me.
Chuck: Mom... I already do.

  --  Chuck Versus the Leftovers [4.10]
%
Chuck: Forget it buddy, can't really do anything with Casey being well, Casey.
Morgan: Chuck! Bubuleh! Casey is your man-servant, let him man-serve you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Balcony [4.11]
%
[Sarah ambushes Morgan in his office]
Sarah: Hi Morgan.
Morgan: Oh,  Sarah..man...
Sarah: We need to have a conversation.
Morgan: Holy hell Sarah! You just scared me to death! I thought you could've been somebody deadly.
Sarah: I am somebody deadly. And I know everything. The balcony, The moonlight. Does that ring a bell?
Morgan: Okay, these bearded lips are staying shut. I know nothing.
Sarah: Chuck is planning to propose at the Chateau and I want your intel.
Morgan: Okay. Don't you want to be surprised?
Sarah: I'm a spy. I hate surprises.
Morgan: Okay. Chuck told me about your parent's proposal. I'm sorry, it will be better than that.
Sarah: Oh God. I never should have told him that stupid story.
Morgan: Probably not, probably not. But you did, and it's the whole reason we called off our restaurant proposal...
Sarah: What? Wait. Chuck was planning on proposing at the restaurant?
Morgan: What's wrong with me? I cannot keep my mouth shut.
Sarah: No. No. It's good. It's good that you told me.
Morgan: Look Sarah. The whole reason Chuck is doing this proposal is to wipe the slate clean. Alright? It's all for you. And it's going to be amazing. It's going to be romantic. It's going to be everything you want.
Sarah: Okay. I am taking control of this operation. Morgan, you are now working for me.
Morgan: Okay. Kind of like a double agent.
Sarah: Exactly. We are going to make this proposal happen for Chuck's sake.
Morgan: Yeah.
Sarah: And for mine.

  --  Chuck Versus the Balcony [4.11]
%
Casey: Wait a minute. Are you conducting a sub-mission? He's gonna pop the question to Walker, isn't he?
Morgan: How'd you know that?
Casey: Because I'm a spy, not a moron. But you're right, he's gonna need all the help he can get.

  --  Chuck Versus the Balcony [4.11]
%
Chuck: I was gonna propose to her (Sarah), Casey.
Casey: [giving Chuck some fatherly advice] You know , I proposed once....To Kathleen....We had plans to go to Niagara Falls...I was about to ship out...we were young...I was stupid and things got screwed up so I ended up proposing in a Buffalo bus station. Not exactly the most romantic spot in the world, but I'll always have that day, I'll always have that look on her face. Now the truth is there no such thing as the perfect moment, or a perfect spot, so forget about the balcony Bartowski. All you need is the girl!

  --  Chuck Versus the Balcony [4.11]
%
Chuck: [to Sarah, after Casey's pep talk] I don't need a balcony and I don't need a sunset. We have each other and that is all that matters.

  --  Chuck Versus the Balcony [4.11]
%
Sarah: I've been to so many places around the world... but never been to a place as beautiful as this.
Chuck: I have. Every day. Every morning I wake up and I look at you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Balcony [4.11]
%
Volkoff: Sarah, we're going to have you break out Yuri the Gobbler. Don't ask why he's called that... It's because he eats people! Basically, it's a suicide mission.
Sarah: I love a good suicide mission.
Volkoff: Me too!

  --  Chuck Versus the Gobbler [4.12]
%
Alex: Morgan! Are you coming?
Morgan: Let's finish this conversation at the Buy More. I have some more snuggling to do, and... no, I'm not embarrassed I just said that.

  --  Chuck Versus the Gobbler [4.12]
%
Chuck: Sarah! Sarah. look I know you have to go...
Sarah: [she kisses him deeply and passionately] I missed you too Chuck.
Chuck: Wow. It's kind of like I'm cheating on you with you right now.
Sarah: Goodbye. Call me on the secure line with the plan.
Chuck: Got it. See you in prison!

  --  Chuck Versus the Gobbler [4.12]
%
Chuck: [about his secret way of communicating with Sarah] Right now, she's telling me she loves me. Or she's buying a Buick...I can't really tell.

  --  Chuck Versus the Gobbler [4.12]
%
Morgan: I happen to be very good at the quick-look-at-your-phone-when-you-get-a-text-but-you-didn't know-I-looked look.

  --  Chuck Versus the Gobbler [4.12]
%
Awesome: [about Ellie's proposed name for their baby] Grunka?!
Chuck: I can't believe she's gonna name her Grunka.
Awesome: Dude!
Chuck: Dude!
Awesome: Dude.
Chuck: Dude!
Awesome: We can't.
Chuck: You can't.
Awesome: Grunka isn't what you name your beautiful baby girl, it's what you name...(referring to the other Buy More employees) these people."

  --  Chuck Versus the Gobbler [4.12]
%
Chuck: You know my dad... he taught me a lot of things. Like looks can be deceiving.
[Casey reveals to Armand that he faked his death by unplugging his heart monitor. Then he knocks out Armand with a bonsai]
Chuck: Fight for your family.
[Sarah ambushes Volkoff's guards and disables one with a throwing knife]
Sarah: Mary, quick! [They escape after a brief gun fight]
Chuck: And of course never use a gun- [Volkoff fires the pistol but it is empty] -unless you absolutely have to. I probably should have told you I have this thing about bullets. I was never going to kill you Alexi. But then I am my father's son, aren't I?

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Nurse: [sees Chuck, Mary, Sarah, Morgan and Casey outside the delivery room] Are you family?
All: Yes.

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Casey: Hey, Awesome? Heard Ellie's in labor. Where is she? Why aren't you in there? Oh, listen, don't make the same mistake I did. I missed my daughter's birth, missed her whole damn childhood. Alex's mom had to raise her all on her own. There's not a day that goes by I don't regret that. Now you get in there.

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Lester: This baby needs a performance, delivery room style. This baby needs...Jeffster!

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Lester: Ew...pregnant women.
Jeff: Ooh...pregnant women.

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Chuck: [After Morgan comes rushing to Chuck to tell about the birth of Clara] General, General, can we borrow a van?
General Beckman: Agent Bartowski, you just arrested Alexei Volkoff and obtained the Hydra Network we have spent the last 20 years searching for. Lieutenant, get this man a chopper.

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Morgan: I look like a seal like this. A seal that does yoga. Yoga seal!

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Awesome: Listen, I've got to run. I still need to find someone to make Ellie's placenta into vitamin pills.
Chuck: Huh, I need to un-hear that. How do I un-hear that?

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Captain Awesome: (holding his newborn baby girl) Awesome.

  --  Chuck Versus the Push Mix [4.13]
%
Sarah: By the way, for the record, I will not at any point during this mission be dressing as a belly dancer.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible [4.14]
%
Ellie: Mom, can you take her for a minute while I get settled? Yeah. Go to Grandma.
Mary: Come to Grandma. (Clara stops fussing)
Mary: Yeah. That's my girl.
Devon: Aw, Grandma's got the magic touch.
Mary: Oh... Mary: Smooth and silent. Same technique I always used for moving live explosives. (Clara coos)
Devon: Okay, I'll just edit that part out.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible [4.14]
%
Sarah: Chuck, if we get caught because you sneeze, we are officially the worst spies in the world.
Chuck: I know, bad Three Stooges. I get it and I won't. But man it is dusty!

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible [4.14]
%
Roan Montgomery: So, last I saw you two, you were a young exciting couple, chasing, flirting. Now the silent treatment. Sexy.
Chuck: If you must know we are very much in love, happy and soon to be married. Just having a bit of a disagreement right now and the ball and chain isn't helping.
Sarah: Are you calling me a ball and chain?
Chuck: There is a ball and ch... There is an actual ball and chain, here. Do you not see this? On the ground attached to my leg? Ball and chain.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible [4.14]
%
Roan Montgomery: Hey, hey. One last thing. In case I don't see you two crazy kids again, do one thing for me. Remember you're in love. Listen to each other. Never go on a mission angry.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible [4.14]
%
Chuck: Beckman was a dirty blonde?
Roan: It was the eighties, everything was dirty blonde.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible [4.14]
%
Roan: Why did you hunt me down?
Beckman: Roan, you never run away from a General.

  --  Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible [4.14]
%
Narrator: [opening sequence] They say it's a personality thing, but to me, a martini's got gin, not vodka. Some folks like chocolate. I'll take vanilla. I say baseball over football. And to me, man's best friend doesn't bark or catch a ball. See, personally, I like cats. Meet my Clandestine Attack Team. Better known as the CAT Squad. Me-ow. They were the best spy team in the business. The year... 2003. The girls... Cold-hearted Carina. [Carina shoots a man] Zondra, the bitch! [Zondra fights a number of men] Amy-- the party girl. [Amy defends herself from an attacker at a party] And... my pride and joy... Sarah Walker. [Sarah kicks a man and holds him at knifepoint] Go get 'em, cats!
[Smash cut to a chuckling Morgan, revealing the entire sequence to be in his imagination]

  --  Chuck Versus the Cat Squad [4.15]
%
Morgan: Your description of C.A.T. Squad has sent me into fantasy land.
Chuck: I don't want to know what goes on there.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cat Squad [4.15]
%
Morgan: [about Carina] I cannot be alone with that woman. She wants me. Badly. John, she desires my physical person!
Casey: And I'm hunting unicorns.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cat Squad [4.15]
%
Morgan: The reason I kept Carina a secret from you is because I didn't know how to handle you running into someone I'd had a... a relationship with. To be honest, there have been so few that it was damn near a statistical impossibility.
(laughs)
I want you to know something, though. Nothing happened between us, because nothing means more to me than this relationship.I would never do anything to threaten that. Ever. I love you. I love you. I am in love with you.
Alex: Like, for real, "I love you"?
Morgan: Oh, for real I love you, I love you.
Alex: I love you, too. But you cannot do this.
Morgan: I won't. I promise.
Carina: I think I owe you an apology. I acted like a real...
Alex: It's okay. He loves me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cat Squad [4.15]
%
Sarah: [to Amy as the squad blocks her escape] Going somewhere, pussy?

  --  Chuck Versus the Cat Squad [4.15]
%
Narrator: [closing voice-over, in reference to Ellie] Aw, who says cats can't play nice? You never know, maybe we'll add another member to this squad.
[Chuck watches from a distance and slowly smiles]

  --  Chuck Versus the Cat Squad [4.15]
%
Chuck: Look at all the bad guys I tranqed!

  --  Chuck Versus the Cat Squad [4.15]
%
[Morgan is moving out]
Chuck: Where ya gonna go?
Morgan: I don't know. I gotta finish packing up and then I'm gonna head out that door dude, and I'm just gonna open myself up to the universe.
Chuck: So, moving to your mom's?
Morgan: Yeah. Yeah, pretty much straight over.

  --  Chuck Versus the Masquerade [4.16]
%
[Team Bartowski has infiltrated a masquerade party}
Chuck: Could be that, or it's a sex-crazed orgy party, where they don't let you see their faces or know their secrets.
Sarah: No, no. I've been to those kinds of parties and it doesn't look anything like this.
Chuck: What?! What?! What?! What?! What?! Really?

  --  Chuck Versus the Masquerade [4.16]
%
Big Mike: What happened to you two? You smell like vomit and Cheerios.
Ellie: We had a baby.

  --  Chuck Versus the Masquerade [4.16]
%
[Sarah and Chuck are robbing the First Bank of Macau as a diversion for Vivian]
Chuck: Having fun?
Sarah: A little.
Chuck: Kinda takes your mind off the whole wedding thing doesn't it?
Sarah: Actually it hasn't been so bad. I took you up on your advice and I found a dress.
Chuck: Hey!
Sarah: Ellie was right when I put it on it felt like magic. [to a bank patron] Get down on the ground before I blow your freaking head off!
Chuck: I'm so glad you found a dress. That's awesome and I bet you look gorgeous in it. [to a teller] Don't be a hero my friend! I will break your face!

  --  Chuck Versus the First Bank of Evil [4.17]
%
Sarah: Okay, you told me that I had to choose between the roses and the orchids, but that was before you showed me the Casablanca Lilies! I need a hundred dozen.
Ellie: A hundred dozen? More?
Ellie: I'm sorry. So what did you think about the cake? Did you like the hazelnut cream, or... ?
Sarah: I really liked it. It reminded me of this amazing patisserie in Paris, and I think that maybe we should fly the cake in. In fact, definitely we should fly the cake in.
Ellie: Oh, that sounds really expensive, especially after that dress that you picked out.
Sarah: Well, you only get married once, right? And this is meant to be really special, and plus, it'll make Chuck really happy. I should look into booking a private island for the ceremony.

Chuck: [after hearing Sarah make several outrageous demands for the wedding] What the heck was that?
Ellie: I think I created a monster.
Chuck: Yeah, well... 'Cause I work... I work... I work at the Buy More, and that stuff sounds kind of pricey.
Ellie: Maybe you could just pick up a few extra shifts... Or rob a bank.
Chuck: [having just robbed a bank] Ha! You...

  --  Chuck Versus the First Bank of Evil [4.17]
%
Casey: Grimes. Are you leveraging me, to stay in my apartment?
Morgan: I don't ah. Am I? Let's say I was. Is it working?
Casey: Okay. You can stay at my place as long as you keep quiet. Don't tell anyone, especially Bartowski.
Morgan: Oh God Casey, you have no idea what this means to me. Come here.
Casey: Don't get too excited, I'm keeping you close to make sure you keep your mouth shut. Because if you don't, I know where you live.

  --  Chuck Versus the First Bank of Evil [4.17]
%
Chuck: [to Noble and Dunwoody] So, are you guys a couple or something?
Rick Noble: Don't be ridiculous.
Victoria Dunwoody: It's against agency protocol.
Noble: Romantic entanglements lead to lapses in judgment.
Dunwoody: [to Chuck and Sarah] You ought to know.

  --  Chuck Versus the A-Team [4.18]
%
Ellie: The problem is, I only have one test subject, so in order to control my experiment, we're going have to have a second baby. [Devon freezes] Joking.

  --  Chuck Versus the A-Team [4.18]
%
Sarah: If the Turk's dog is behind that door, so is the Turk!
Chuck: All we gotta do is break through four inches of steel.
Sarah: Or we chop off Casey's hand.
Chuck: [shocked] Let's keep that as our backup plan, shall we?

  --  Chuck Versus the A-Team [4.18]
%
Chuck: We're gonna have to improvise our way through this one.
Richard: Improvi... ? ! It's a nuclear bomb.
Casey: Stow it, Captain.
Chuck: Okay, now, Sarah, that hockey puck-looking thing on the end there? That's the detonator. I need you to twist and pull... gently.
(gasps)
Okay, the detonator is from a next-gen Chinese sub, which means the firing mechanism had to have been modified to allow the warhead's deployment in saltwater.
Saltwater! Saltwater! Yes! These detonators, they automatically deactivate in saltwater in the event of a hull breach.
Victoria: We're nowhere near the ocean.
Chuck: Ooh... Saltwater, saltwater, saltwater... Mmm, what has... ?
Victoria: What is he doing?
Chuck: Casey... my juice box. Please have sodium, please have sodium, please have sodium. Yeah, it does! Yes, yes, yes.
Sarah: Chuck, are you about to disarm a nuclear bomb using fruit juice? Okay, do it.
(crackles)
(whirring)
Both: I can't believe that worked.

  --  Chuck Versus the A-Team [4.18]
%
Computer: Intersect extraction complete.
(sighs)
Casey: So, how's it feel?
Richard: What a relief to have that outta my head. That poor bastard Bartowski.

  --  Chuck Versus the A-Team [4.18]
%
Chuck: [outside Morgan and Casey's shared apartment] Let me in!
Morgan: Over my dead body Chuck.
Sarah: [breaking in through the ceiling] How about over your tranqed body?
Morgan: You were distracting me so she could break in.
Chuck: Yeah.
Morgan: Clever girl. You using the five millimeter darts?
Sarah: Ten.
Morgan: Please tell Casey I put up a good fight! [Sarah tranquilizes him]

  --  Chuck Versus the A-Team [4.18]
%
Awesome: You're not "just" anything, Ellie.
Ellie: Really?
Awesome: You're Mrs. Awesome.

  --  Chuck Versus the A-Team [4.18]
%
Ellie: My dad's work is so amazing. I've never seen such creative use of neuroplasticity before. His mind is incredible!
Awesome: That's probably where Clara gets it. She said "arthroscopic" yesterday.
Ellie: Honey, if Clara can say "arthroscopic" she needs to stop pooping her pants.

  --  Chuck Versus the Muuurder [4.19]
%
General Beckman: This time our search will be led my the only man who knows what it's really like being an Intersect. Chuck, we need you to find more Chucks.
Chuck: [nearly gloating] Well it's gonna be tough. Broke the mold, et cetera.

  --  Chuck Versus the Muuurder [4.19]
%
Casey: Good lord. Four more Chucks?

  --  Chuck Versus the Muuurder [4.19]
%
[Chuck tasks Morgan with testing the candidates' "cultural knowledge"]
Morgan: [to Lewis] Quick: Rush's best album?
Lewis: Ah! Caress of Steel.
Morgan: [imitates a buzzer] No. Next.

  --  Chuck Versus the Muuurder [4.19]
%
Morgan: [to Damien] Charlton Heston sci-fi question for you. What's cooler: Soylent Green or Omega Man?
Damien: Trick question. POTA.
Morgan: [whispering] Wow!
[Chuck nods his head in approval]

  --  Chuck Versus the Muuurder [4.19]
%
Morgan: [to Josie] Favorite Bond: Connery excluded?
Josie: I have no opinion about any of this. Why do men care so much about these things? Nothing you're asking me matters at all. [Bentley nods her head in approval]
Morgan: [whispering to a confused Chuck] What on earth is she talking about?

  --  Chuck Versus the Muuurder [4.19]
%
Morgan: [to Brody] Most important graphic novelist: Grant Morrison or Moore/Gibbons?
Brody: Kind of a Brian Vaughan man, myself.
Chuck: [interrupts a disapproving Morgan] Actually... I've always secretly felt that way.
[Chuck and Brody nod in agreement]

  --  Chuck Versus the Muuurder [4.19]
%
Morgan: Pre-nup? Jeez, I thought things were going so well.
Chuck: It was, is.
Casey: She's just taking precautions. Half of all maarriages go down.
Chuck: Well, it's good to see yours is going so well.
Morgan: Hilarious. But you know what? It works. So you, spending a little money on the side. Gambling debts I don't know about?
Chuck: Of course not. You know me. I don't know why she'd do this.
Morgan: Look something's got your girl's dukes up, okay? Get the facts. [to Casey] Smaller bites please.
Casey: Don't henpeck!  You overanalyze everything. Bartowski. You talk every issue to death. It's exhausting.
Morgan: It's exhausting just sitting here.
Chuck: Well. I really do that?
Casey: Spies have secrets. If you're gonna take it to the next level with Walker you have to understand that. Sign the papers. Be cool.
Morgan: Yeah Chuck, be cool.
Chuck: Be cool.

  --  Chuck Versus the Family Volkoff [4.20]
%
Awesome: [reading aloud a book to the baby] So, really the missing link isn't actually missing. It's a misnomer when a fossil shows a specimen in a state of the intermediary development.
Ellie: [about her father's laptop] It's missing.
Awesome: Babe, you really think it's wise to argue in front of the baby?

  --  Chuck Versus the Family Volkoff [4.20]
%
Volkoff: Remember, family and friends are everything. Money, greed, and power are a dance with Satan. And he looks like me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Family Volkoff [4.20]
%
Sarah: Done [ rips up her prenup]
Chuck; You don't have to do that.
Sarah: Please forget that ever existed, Okay? And can you please stop being so cool?
[Chuck pulls out his own prenup]
Sarah: That is so not cool.
Chuck: Just read it.
Sarah: I, Sarah Walker, promise to always love Chuck Bartowski. In return, he will always love me. I can't read the fine print.
Chuck: The fine print says: I promise Chuck that I will not even contemplate the word divorce and I will never use my prenup.

  --  Chuck Versus the Family Volkoff [4.20]
%
Chuck: [to Sarah] Do our wedding colors remind you of socialism?

  --  Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner [4.21]
%
Chuck: Okay, okay, fine. I'll just give her one of these (fake flashes). And voila... access granted.
Sarah: It doesn't look like that.
Chuck: Oh? What does it look like exactly?
Sarah: Well, it kind of looks like you saw something really bright and tasted something really sour at the same time.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner [4.21]
%
Jack Burton: [to Sarah] Wow, you're still in Burbank with the Schnook?

  --  Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner [4.21]
%
Awesome: Go ahead, try and run! I will catch you because I have superior form.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner [4.21]
%
Young Sarah: We don't need money to have an adventure together.
Jack Burton: You're right - all we need is you and me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner [4.21]
%
Morgan: [to Sarah, after they incapacitate the second Klug brother] Spy high-five!

  --  Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner [4.21]
%
Jack Burton: You gave this to me a long time ago, and I want you to know I never spent a dime of it. I only ever added to it. It should more than cover the cost of your wedding to the schnook. I hope now you can have all the adventures you ever wanted with a man far better than me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner [4.21]
%
Big Mike: [referring to Las Vegas] It's about high stakes, and gambling, and getting into some weird stuff that just might haunt you for the rest of your life.

  --  Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]
%
Chuck: We've always been able to tell each other anything, right? Lately I felt like...
Ellie: Like there's something in the way.
Chuck: Yes, exactly, our family is so full of secrets.
Ellie: Too many secrets. I mean, our parents alone...
Chuck: Yeah, and, and, d d I don't think there should be any secrets between the two of us.
Ellie: I've been working on something secret. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry and...
Chuck: I know about Dad's laptop and his research-- Mom told me.
Ellie: So why are we here? (chuckles)
[long pause]
You're still a spy.
Chuck: Wait, w-w-wait, wait, wait a second, I had a whole speech and you just figured that out. You can't figure that out by yourself.
Ellie: I think I just did.
Chuck: You just Rubik's Cubed me, sis.
Ellie: Of course you still work for the CIA. Sarah's a spy, you're clearly built for better things than the Buy More. (quiet laugh)
Chuck: You're not mad?
Ellie: I'm not mad that you did it. I'm mad that you didn't tell me. I mean, I get it-- it's the same reason that I kept Dad's computer a secret from you. (sighs) Us Bartowskis-- when we're good at something, we just jump right in, don't we? No more secrets, though.

  --  Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]
%
Mike: Bologna Grimes says I couldn't go. She knows I tapped Vegas dry back when I was with Earth, Wind, Fire, and Rain.
Jeff: You want me to call this Baloney lady, give her the what for?
Big Mike: Nah. Once Bologna has made a decision, there's no going back on it. You guys enjoy.
Morgan: No! No-no-no-no, no-no-no-no. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Y-You are my future stepfather. This will not stand. Now, come on... We're men! Men who take what's theirs! You have to march into that house, slam your fist on the counter, and then you look at my mother in the eye, and you say, "Bologna, I am so sorry, woman... but I have to work at the Buy More all weekend. " You see, this way, when she asks me, I'll say, "Yeah, we got all this new inventory. We have to work around the clock. " Boom! Boom.
Big Mike: Heh. That's the greatest thing... a white person's ever done for me.
(sobbing)
Let's go to Vegas!

  --  Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]
%
Lester: Hey. You okay, buddy? I know that you were looking forward to partying in Vegas most of all.
Jeff: What? I knew we were going to Vecas! Oh. This place is amazing! They grow some magic fungus up in them there hills. I'm going to go find some; maybe chase a little tail.

  --  Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]
%
Lester: I got a fat stack burning a hole in my crotch.

  --  Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]
%
Jeff: Let's get this party started.
Casey: [eager to kill Riley's mercenaries] My sentiments exactly.

  --  Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]
%
Mrs. Winterbottom: [firing a machine gun at an assault team on her lawn] There go my primroses! Eat lead, you bastards!

  --  Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]
%
Casey: The CIA created one of the most murderous men in the history of the world. Powerful people spending an enormous amount of energy covering that up. If they find out we know they order a guy like me to put a bullet in each one of our heads. Pretty sure your dad didn't want this to end that way.

  --  Chuck Versus Agent X [4.22]
%
Morgan: I thought we were past this. We're roomies. You've been training me hard. I've been in danger a ton of times. You love the Snack Packs I bring on missions. So why, suddenly, are you being this big jerk to me?
Casey: It's Alex.  She's worried about you.
Morgan: Oh, wait, wait , wait. Okay, Okay.  You're telling me you are being a jerk because you care?
Casey: Yeah. Fat load of good it's done me too. I promised Alex I'd keep you safe. There are times on every mission when things go sideways. That happens, I can't protect you... then I broken a promise to my daughter.
Morgan: I see your dilemma.
Casey: Yeah.
Morgan: Everything is gonna be fine, trust me. Nothing will go wrong.  Why did I just say that?
Casey: Hmmmm.

  --  Chuck Versus the Last Details [4.23]
%
Badguy: This better not take long. I already tried to kill three people at the table.
Morgan: Yes. What do you mean? No, You heard me the first time. Shoot the puppy. I'm so sick of feeding him. Kill the puppy. So hard to great good henchmen nowadays. Hmm?

  --  Chuck Versus the Last Details [4.23]
%
Sarah: Good morning. You know what we have to do today?
Chuck; Mmm. Hunt someone?
Sarah: No.
Chuck: Blow something up?
Sarah: No, again.
Chuck: M-mm. Crawl through... sewers or... rat holes or underground lairs filled with sewage and/or rats?
Sarah: No, no, and no. Today we have a day off from the CIA. Today is about you and me and our wedding.
Chuck: (whispers): God, that's good.

  --  Chuck Versus the Last Details [4.23]
%
Mary: [toasting Chuck and Sarah] Many of you might not know me, but i'm Chuck's and Ellie's mom. Truth be told.... I was gone for a long time. Now that I am back in their lives, I sometimes overcompensate. But lucky for me, my soon-to-be daughter-in-law is very forgiving. She's never heard me say it but Sarah is one of the strongest and one of the most amazing women that I have ever met. So I would like to propose this toast to her. Sarah, thank you for taking care of my Chuck. May you have many more adventures together, and may you always keep each other safe.

  --  Chuck Versus the Last Details [4.23]
%
Sarah: [reading wedding vows] "Chuck, you're a gift. You're a gift I never dreamed I could want or need, and every day, I will show you that you're a gift that I deserve. You make me the best person I could ever hope to be, and I want to spend and learn and love the rest of my life with you."
Sarah: Talky?
Chuck: Perfect. So perfect. So perfect. Oh, my God. Sarah. Oh, Sarah. Oh, mine are a tear-down. This is a page one rewrite.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]
%
Chuck: "Uh... Right, my vows. My turn for that. They just don't cut it. I'm sorry, Sarah. How do I express the depth of my love for you? Or my dreams for our future? Or the fact that I will fight for you every day? Or that our kids will be like little superheroes with little capes and stuff like that?
(laughter)
Words can't express that. They don't do it justice. They just don't cut it. So no vows. I'll just prove it to you every day for the rest of our lives. You can count on me."
Sarah: Perfect.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]
%
Sarah: I love you, Chuck. And nothing's ever gonna change that.
Chuck: I feel like I should be James Bond right now. You know, like the guy who's standing on this balcony with you right now in this moment. I mean, he...
Sarah: I didn't fall in love with James Bond. I fell in love with you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]
%
Chuck: What if we went into business for ourselves?
Casey: And how exactly would we do that?
Sarah: Well, we have a base, and the Buy More has proven to be an excellent cover.
Morgan: Uh, Mrs. B?
Morgan: One thing. The Buy More just sold.
Chuck: Yeah. We know. We bought it.
Sarah: Hartley turned over all of Volkoff's assets to us. Wedding present.
Chuck: 877... million dollars. Although I like to refer to it as a cool billion, just 'cause it's kind of more fun to say.
Morgan: Mamacita, that's a lot of money.
Chuck: And who better to handle a billion dollars than me? Us. Us. Us! Our first purchase was the Buy More and everything below it. Now we have all of Volkoff's resources at our disposal.
Sarah: That's if you guys still want to take out some bad guys.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]
%
Casey: You're Chuck Bartowski, you're the second best spy I've ever worked with. Go save the best one.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]
%
[Mary and Casey help Chuck and Hartley escape]
Mary: [to Hartley] You and Chuck need to break into Volkoff Industries. There'll be lots of security there, so you'll have to go as your old self.
Hartley: [his true identity having been restored] Of course, as Volkoff.
Mary: Yes, but he's not you. He's a mean, dictatorial, conniving...
Chuck: ...manipulative, amoral...
Casey: ...limey with relatively good teeth.
Hartley: Sounds like I was a monster.
All: You were.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]
%
Casey: [as reinforcements from Volkoff Industries arrive] Russians...so many Russians...

  --  Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]
%
Morgan: [last words of the episode, after accidentally downloading the Intersect] Guys...I know Kung Fu.

  --  Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger [4.24]
%
Casey: [to Chuck] Do you actually play any non-video game sports?

  --  Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]
%
Morgan: You know, if I was standing on my wallet, I'd be tall.

  --  Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]
%
Sarah: Chuck, I'm not leaving my husband on a mission.

  --  Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]
%
Casey: I want it noted that I took out six of their guys.

  --  Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]
%
Morgan: We finally lost control of the store, haven't we?
Chuck: All right, where's Jeff...no, where's Lester. I can sense his evil little hand all over this.

  --  Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]
%
Morgan: You're amazing. You are so Zen right now. If I had a power like that and I thought it was gone forever, aw, Chuck, I'd be a wreck. Whew! But not you, man, you are my hero. You're great even without the Intersect.

  --  Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]
%
Sarah: Uh, well, when I was a little girl, my, uh... my dad's "work" kept us moving around a lot. And I always imagined what a real family would feel like, you know, what the perfect home for us all would be, and, you know, the dream house. This is stupid.
Chuck: No, no, it's not. Babe, continue.
Sarah: Well, I always imagined a little white house with a red door and, don't laugh, but it had a picket fence, just like, you know, the houses that you see on TV that people live in.
Chuck: Hmm. Mid-century, very Leave It to Beaver?
Sarah: Cozy, homey and simple.
Chuck: And perfect.
Sarah: Really?
Chuck: Sarah, I'm going to find you your dream home, whatever it takes.

  --  Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]
%
Sarah: Chuck, you found it. What's the matter?
Chuck: I can't afford it. If we bought it yesterday, with our fortune, we'd own it. But now...I'm so sorry, Sarah.
Sarah: Well, so what. We knew this wasn't going to be easy and we didn't get married because we thought life was easy, we got married so that we could be there for each other when things got tough. That we could work through things together, rich or poor.
Chuck: But how are we gonna do this? We gotta start over.
Sarah: Well it's okay, we'll get new clients and we haven't lost everything. We still have Castle and the store.
Chuck: Buy More.
Sarah: The Buy More.
Chuck: The Buy More, we use the store to support the spy team, we take the profits and put them into Carmichael Industries until both companies can make money. But in order for that to work, the store has to actually make profit.
Sarah: We can do that.
Chuck: We can do that. What about me though? You and Casey are super spies, Morgan's the Intersect. Who am I? What's my job?
Sarah: Chuck, you're our leader.

  --  Chuck Versus the Zoom [5.01]
%
Casey: It made a nasty scar, right over one of my favorite scars.

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Chuck: [about the Intersect] ....scary, exciting, your hormones are all out of whack, you're really discovering your body!

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Verbanski: Not many people have disarmed Colonel Casey. But I like to remember all of my victories. Even the little ones.

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Big Mike: Aloha, Chuck! Hello, stepchild!
Morgan: Hey.
Big Mike: Like my new threads? I just got back from four weeks of sexual experimentation and snorkeling with my new wife in Hawaii.

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Sarah: [correcting Gertrude] First of all, its 'Mrs.'

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Sarah: Look, if you want to work for Verbanski Corp and have a fancy DOD contract, then why don't you just go ahead?
Casey: I don't want to work for her.
Sarah: Look, I saw her Web site on your computer, okay?
Casey: How much is she offering you? Nothing.
(engine revving)
The only thing Verbanski's interested in is me. Physically. (sighs) Sexually.
Sarah: What?
(horn honking)
Casey: Watch the road, Walker!
(tires squealing)
Casey: It was a long time ago. It only happened once. Seeing her again makes it... (groans) complicated.
Sarah: Complicated how?
Casey: (exhales) Well... you ever, uh, have sex with someone who just tried to kill you? It was incredible

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Morgan [to Chuck]: Talking a lot about the Intersect, but I finally get it, though. For the first time in my life, I sort of feel as cool as you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Chuck: Wow, good job, Indy.
Morgan: Who? [Chuck laughs. Morgan stares blankly at him.]
Chuck: Uh, Indiana Jones...

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Verbanski: I was wondering who the real Luke Skywalker was on your team. It's good to finally know.
Morgan: I'll bet it is. One question, though. [Pause] Who's Luke Skywalker?

  --  Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit [5.02]
%
Chuck: I'm here to take back what you stole from us.
Morgan: No, no, the Intersect is mine!
Chuck: I want the zip drive, okay? You can keep the Intersect, Gollum.

  --  Chuck Versus the Frosted Tips [5.03]
%
Chuck: Perving out on Gertrude. Weird move Casey.

  --  Chuck Versus the Frosted Tips [5.03]
%
[ Morgan text dumps Alex]
Casey: What do you want me to do? You want me to kill him? 'Cause I'll kill him. Better yet, let's keep him alive. You can work him over for a while.
Alex: No, Dad I don't want you to hurt Morgan. I love him. I just don't understand how he can be so awful, you know?
Casey: Just tell me what to do.
Alex: I just don't understand. I just want the old Morgan back, you know?
Casey: I know it hurts honey. We Casey's don't like to open up and make ourselves vulnerable, because once someone does, rips our heart out and stomps on it in front of our eyes, it can be the worst torture of all. Just want you to know that I'm always here for you. Always will be.

  --  Chuck Versus the Frosted Tips [5.03]
%
Chuck: You can keep the Intersect. Gollum!

  --  Chuck Versus the Frosted Tips [5.03]
%
Morgan: Thanks for pantsing me.
Chuck: Anytime buddy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Frosted Tips [5.03]
%
Chuck: How great are Ellie and Awesome, huh? They're just a nice happy normal couple.
Sarah: Yeah, they are.
Chuck: We aren't all that normal, are we?
Sarah: No. No, not really, but we're happy and we're nice.

  --  Chuck Versus the Business Trip [5.04]
%
Chuck: Sarah, wait! Don't move.
Sarah: [startled] Oh, my God. What?
Chuck: I know we're trying to be normal and all, but if we were in spy mode, we'd think it was interesting timing that you made a new friend who wanted to hang out with you immediately post-mission.
Sarah: A new friend who was as good as I was at passing a lie detector.
Chuck: And we might wonder if the Viper didn't use a decoy, like we did, to make Morgan feel safe and come out of hiding.
Sarah: And we might think that getting rid of his guards by, say, planting a car bomb, might be a really great way to go.
Chuck: [looks down and sees bomb] Okay, here's a spy thought; don't move your foot.

  --  Chuck Versus the Business Trip [5.04]
%
Casey: [to Morgan] And a moron again! Sorry moron still.

  --  Chuck Versus the Business Trip [5.04]
%
Chuck: The force is strong in this one.
Morgan: Mmmm. I have no idea what that means, but I am pumped.

  --  Chuck Versus the Business Trip [5.04]
%
General Beckman: [Sees all the arcade machines in Castle] So shocked you people are running out of money.
Chuck: Missile Command is a part of our process.

  --  Chuck Versus the Business Trip [5.04]
%
Casey: Leave it to the three friends you recently stabbed in the back.

  --  Chuck Versus the Business Trip [5.04]
%
Sarah: Ah, I'd like to make a toast. Chuck and I have been a little sad this week that we aren't normal people. I've been having a hard time with the fact I have no real friends. but I look around here at all of you today and I realize that because of Chuck, I do. Nobody in the world is closer than we all are. So, Thank you and cheers.

  --  Chuck Versus the Business Trip [5.04]
%
Chuck: Do you remember why we started Carmichael Industries to begin with?
Morgan: The corporate discount on the pinball machine right?

  --  Chuck Versus the Hack Off [5.05]
%
Lester: OK. I admit it. I tried to poison you to keep you subordinate. What's the big deal?

  --  Chuck Versus the Hack Off [5.05]
%
Chuck: All right, let's find us a virus, shall we?
Sarah: Uh, what is happening? Is that...is that chardonnay?
Morgan: Wow, I haven't seen this in a long time. We used to call this routine "The Routine".
Sarah: That's very creative.
Morgan: Yeah, Chuck has quite a reputation as a hacker, you know? They used to call him The Piranha....when The Piranha got really into a decoding session, he could get a bit giddy.
Sarah: Yeah, it's kind of cute.
Morgan: Yeah, it's also super nerdy.
Sarah: It's definitely that, too.

  --  Chuck Versus the Hack Off [5.05]
%
Sarah: I really have no place to hide a gun.

  --  Chuck Versus the Hack Off [5.05]
%
Verbanski: We coulda been something.
Casey: Still can be.
Verbanski: Perhaps someday.  Surveillance changes shifts in two minutes. We gotta get into the heating ducts before they realize you're gone.
Casey: You're gonna break me out alone?
Verbanski: No. I found someone who cares about you as much as I do.
Casey: Huh
Morgan: Prisoner transfer from CB-11 section 3-8
Man on Radio: Copy that.
Morgan: I missed you, big guy.

  --  Chuck Versus the Hack Off [5.05]
%
Morgan: What if - what if Castle's been compromised?
Casey: That's actually a very fine point. Good job on the breakout, that was actually... I'm proud of you, moron.
Morgan: Did you just compliment me AND insult me?

  --  Chuck Versus the Curse [5.06]
%
Casey: [about a deserted Honkey-tonk bar] This is where we come in our darkest hours-Iran Contra, Nicaragua, the Clinton years...

  --  Chuck Versus the Curse [5.06]
%
Ellie: Honey, we have to form a plan.
Awesome:  Babe, deep breath. I have an idea.
Ellie: Okay, I'm listening.
Awesome: All right.  We need to dive out of the car. We'll be fine. All we need is a sturdy combat roll.
Ellie: Ah, I can't do it.
Awesome: Of course you can. You have done way harder things. We need to just open the door, and roll out.
Ellie: You don't understand, okay? I went to Agent Provocateur and got an outfit, and the panties were optional and I didn't opt to wear them.
Awesome: Really?
Ellie: Surprise.
Awesome: Whoa.

  --  Chuck Versus the Curse [5.06]
%
Robin: The Omen? Or pain?
Chuck: Shouldn't there be a third option?

  --  Chuck Versus the Curse [5.06]
%
Sarah: If you ever go out alone again, just remember, I'm a trained assassin.
Chuck: Noted.
Sarah: Good.
Chuck: You wouldn't shoot me, would you?

  --  Chuck Versus the Curse [5.06]
%
Big Mike: I want customers to remember the true meaning of Christmas and get back to what you're supposed to be doing -- buying stuff.

  --  Chuck Versus the Santa Suit [5.07]
%
Chuck: I've been training for a while now.
Shaw: Oh really? Can you compete with the Intersect 3.0? I can practically catch a bullet in my teeth, but you did some pushups? You hit the heavy bag? No Intersect can help you this time, Chuck.
Chuck: I wouldn't be too sure about that.

  --  Chuck Versus the Santa Suit [5.07]
%
Chuck: I'm a much bigger nerd than you thought I was.

  --  Chuck Versus the Santa Suit [5.07]
%
Chuck: Well it wouldn't be Christmas with the Bartowskis without a little bit of drama.

  --  Chuck Versus the Santa Suit [5.07]
%
Sarah: Thank you.
Chuck: For defeating Daniel Shaw? For stopping the Omen virus? Or was it me getting us invited to rejoin the CIA?
Sarah: For saving me.
Chuck: Technically it was Morgan that saved you. Because of all the saving that was going on, I didn't have time to get you your gift in time for Christmas. However. [Takes out charm bracelet.] An oldie but a goodie. [Puts it on Sarah's wrist] I hope it will suffice for now.

  --  Chuck Versus the Santa Suit [5.07]
%
Chuck: My wife has been kidnapped and I'm officially ruining Christmas for the children of Burbank.

  --  Chuck Versus the Santa Suit [5.07]
%
[Lester and Jeff talking exceedingly fast, due to a caffeine high]
Lester: We believe this whole Omen virus, end of the world apocalyptic thingy-- it's a hoax-- literally a hoax.
Jeff: The virus is hypothetically designed to suck information out of a whole set of computers and move information to a single location.
Lester: But it's not doing that. It's absolutely not doing that.
Jeff: Or it's not doing that with our computers. It looks like this virus is targeting government computers.
Lester: I think it's a real-life conspiracy.
Jeff: Problem is no one computer can hold all that information.

  --  Chuck Versus the Santa Suit [5.07]
%
Chuck: Are you sure I'm her type?
General Beckman: You have a pulse and you're wearing a Santa suit.
[Chuck looks disturbed]

  --  Chuck Versus the Santa Suit [5.07]
%
Chuck: Yes, I love you, so of course I'm going to wanna know what's going on why this mission needs to be so secretive, why you need so many guns - but I'm willing to put that aside.
Sarah: Really?
Morgan: Really?
Casey: Really?
Chuck: You're not helping.

  --  Chuck Versus the Baby [5.08]
%
[Sarah's former handler Ryker to a tied up Sarah]
Ryker: You know why I requested to be your handler? Why I brought you to Budapest in the first place? Because your file screamed Loner. You had no family to speak of, never trusted anyone. I knew that you could kept a secret because you had no one to tell. And you still don't, do you? I bet no one knows that your here. Do they? And that's why you're gonna die today.

  --  Chuck Versus the Baby [5.08]
%
Sarah: Um, going to prom and homecoming and soccer games and all those normal things you wanted for me. Will you make sure she gets them?
Emma: Of course I will.

  --  Chuck Versus the Baby [5.08]
%
Chuck: I'm not the kind of guy who says things like this. But whatever you thought you had to hide, going out on your own like that, I think it was a mistake. I think that you were wrong.
Sarah: You're right. When Ryker captured me in Budapest, I kept thinking why am I doing it this way? Why do I feel like I have to do everything on my own. But it's the way my dad taught me, it's the way the CIA taught me, that you can only ever trust yourself. But the truth is, I trust you completely and I want to tell you everything.

  --  Chuck Versus the Baby [5.08]
%
Chuck: You,know, I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am that I get to meet you.
Emma: It means a lot to me too. More than you know. It's been so long since I've seen her. She was always a tough little thing, you know. But I worried about her. Growing up mostly with her father, she always kept to herself. I know I don't know you very well yet, but thank you for giving her all of this.

  --  Chuck Versus the Baby [5.08]
%
Sarah: I like it here.
Chuck: Me too.
Sarah: You know, I really want the life that you imagined for us Chuck, but if we go back to the CIA it's just gonna be missions and secrets that we have no control over.
Chuck: What are you saying?
Sarah: I gave my life to the CIA for a really long time and I chose it over my family and my friends and that was the right thing for me to do at the time, but I'm different now. You know, things have changed. You've changed me. I don't wanna go back.  I wanna turn down Beckman's offer.
Chuck: Okay. Okay.  We don't need that bonus and we don't need this house because all we need is each other. [Sarah gets up and walks to door frame]  Sarah?  Hey , hey, hey. What are you doing?
Sarah: I am carving our names into the frame.
Chuck: Honey, you know we don't own this home.
Sarah: I know. But we will. One day. Might not be tomorrow or the next day and it might take us months or years of hard work but one day all this will be ours. And when it is, I would like to remember this moment. So, what do you say? You still in?

  --  Chuck Versus the Baby [5.08]
%
Casey: Can't do it, Walker. Sometimes Gertrude, she doesn't listen to what I'm trying to tell her.
Sarah: I can sympathize.
Casey: Thank you.
Sarah: But you're putting on that bathing suit.
Casey: Like hell.
Sarah: This is a dream mission, Casey, and I'm not gonna let you screw it up. Do you know how many skimpy outfits I have had to put on for this team? Did you hear me complain when I had to wear a catsuit or seven inch platform high heels or a belly dancer's outfit?
Casey: Belly dancer's outfit?
Sarah: Okay, that was private. Just put on the banana hammock and stop whining.
Casey: You okay, Walker? You seem a little emotional these days?
Sarah: Shut up.

  --  Chuck Versus the Kept Man [5.09]
%
Chuck: Mind if I give you s little advice?
Casey: Use the word "care", I'm gonna take this glass, shove it down your throat, and punch you in the stomach so it shatters.

  --  Chuck Versus the Kept Man [5.09]
%
Chuck: What did we talk about at the restaurant? What did we talk about? Are you using this? [Draws heart shape on Casey's chest]  I think you owe it to our client! Listen to her signals, what is it she's really telling you?
Casey: You think I need to be more sensitive. Be more in tune with my girlfriend's emotions. You're one to talk.
Chuck: What's that suppose to mean?
Casey: Means you've got your head so far up your new care manifesto, you haven't realized your own wife thinks she's pregnant, and is hiding it from you.
Chuck: What? Are you crazy? There's no way...there's no way she could be pregnant. I would have to be the most clueless, insensitive, uncaring.....
Sarah: Arr,  Chuck!

  --  Chuck Versus the Kept Man [5.09]
%
Casey: The housemaid is laying out coffee spoons with the dinner service! There's going to be hell to pay at Downton Abbey tonight!

  --  Chuck Versus the Kept Man [5.09]
%
Jeff: [in the basement, seeing paint on the back of Lester's shirt] What the...? [He turns around and feels and smells the wall] It's still wet.
Lester: Oh. Oh, yeah.
Jeff: Remember when I was in Pine Ridge?
Lester: The...mental institution? Yeah.
Jeff: It was so dreary, they'd actually put fake backdrops in the windows.
Lester: That's pretty cruel.
Jeff: I always knew it was fake.
Lester: Um, where are we going with this, buddy?
Jeff: [grabs a dumbbell] I guess what I'm trying to say is...it's not always easy to trick a mental patient. [He punches through the wall with the dumbbell and discovers the Castle, where Chuck, Sarah and Morgan are sitting] I knew it! We were right! Lester!
[Morgan quickly shoots a tranq dart into Jeff's neck, who falls to the ground unconscious.]
Lester: Jeffrey!
[Morgan shoots another dart at Lester's head. He falls as well.]
Morgan: Oh, crap. I mean, we've got a problem.
Chuck: Yeah, I'd call it that.

  --  Chuck Versus the Kept Man [5.09]
%
Chuck: How do you know my friend, here?
Bo Derek: I don't like to kiss and tell, but your friend rocked my world on magical night in November.
Chuck: Seriously?
Morgan: Seriously?
Sarah: Seriously?
Casey: Seriously?

  --  Chuck Versus Bo [5.10]
%
Morgan: Well, I love it. You know how I feel about bullets, which is to say - negatively. This is fantastic.
Casey: Where do I fit in? What am I? Chief Googler?
Sarah: Well actually you'll be doing a lot of the same stuff you already do.
Chuck: Yeah. I mean we're still gonna need fields ops to recover stolen systems and breaching companies' security to find their weak spots...
Casey: [Grunts] Hmmm...
Morgan: Plus, wouldn't it be lovely not to get shot at?
Chuck: Exactly. Aren't you sick of being shot at?
Sarah: Or getting shot. I mean, you get shot a lot.
Casey: Not considering how much I get shot at.
Chuck: [Agreeably] Hmm
Sarah: [Agreeably] Hmm
[Everyone sips coffee.]:
Morgan: Okay, think about Alex. Do you know how happy she will be knowing you're not out there doing scary stuff?
Casey: [Considers. Grunts] All right, I'll think about it. But one thing's for sure, if we go through with this, no more Buy More. We don't need a cover. Let's kick the creepy cousin out of the family.
Morgan: [Pensively] Wow. No more Buy More.

  --  Chuck Versus Bo [5.10]
%
Morgan: [after Bo kisses him] Hello, Bo Derek's tongue. Wow.

  --  Chuck Versus Bo [5.10]
%
Morgan: [to Bo Derek] You're no longer a perfect 10.

  --  Chuck Versus Bo [5.10]
%
Sarah: Hey Chuck, how's it going with Bo? You had any sneak peeks of your childhood crush's boobies?
Chuck: What? No. Shut up.

  --  Chuck Versus Bo [5.10]
%
Morgan: You really love it here, don't you?
Big Mike: Like a turkey loves Thanksgiving.

  --  Chuck Versus Bo [5.10]
%
Ellie: Anything different happen on missions?
Morgan: Uhh, I started wearing tight slacks.

  --  Chuck Versus the Bullet Train [5.11]
%
Chuck: We have something better than a Buy More. We have a train full of Japanese people!

  --  Chuck Versus the Bullet Train [5.11]
%
Jeff: Exactly what did you do?
Lester: Sugared the gas tank. It's an oldie, but a goodie. Man, I haven't sugged a tank in days. Anyway, now that they are incapacitated in the mobile sense, we need a plan.
Jeff: It should be keen and clever. Utilizing our unique talents.
Lester: Do we have any of those?
Jeff: I think you are uniquely wasteful and destructive.
Lester: Let's build on that.

  --  Chuck Versus the Bullet Train [5.11]
%
Chuck: [about Jeff and Lester] I've worked with those guys for years. They may seem like botulism victims, but they're loyal. They can do it.
Casey: Lester, I'm gonna tell you something I never dreamed I'd tell you. Never dreamed I'd have to tell you. But the situation is extreme. This is Colonel John Casey of the National Security Agency.
Lester: That is so funny. There's a John Casey who works at Buy More.
Casey: That's me you idiot. I'm NSA. Sarah Walker, Chuck Bartowski, they're CIA.
Lester: They are so not.
Casey: They are "so" so, you colossal dope. Now I need you. My daughter needs you. And your country needs you.
Lester: Canada?
Casey: Patel, listen up. You do what I tell you, I'll make you a hero.
Lester: It's the call.
Casey: Go to my Crown Vic.

  --  Chuck Versus the Bullet Train [5.11]
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Lester: You're outgunned, outmanned, outside. And it's a lovely day. So throw down your gun and nobody gets hurt.
Quinn's henchman: You're the one who should be worried about getting hurt.
Lester: Ah. [point to Jeff]
Jeff: Behold the flames of destiny. Ha, ha. [Jeff using flamethrower]

  --  Chuck Versus the Bullet Train [5.11]
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Chuck: It's the coolest thing in the world, isn't it!?
Sarah: The coolest ever!
Chuck: Did you do any Parkour?
Sarah: Off the bridge, and on to a moving truck, and then on to a car going the opposite direction.
Chuck: Oh, awesome!

  --  Chuck Versus the Bullet Train [5.11]
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Morgan: Wow. It's all ending, huh?
Casey: What are you babbling about?
Morgan:Just getting nostalgic, you know?  Quinn's dead, Sarah's home safe, so we're done, man. No more missions.
Casey: No more gunplay.
Morgan:Think about it, Casey. Five years. I went from pip-squeaky sidekick to this. And you, you were the most cold-blooded sniper in the whole world and now you're scrubbing our floors.
Casey: Well, if you would use a plate when you're eating taquitos, I wouldn't have to scrub the floors. would I? Do you really think I've changed?

  --  Chuck Versus Sarah [5.12]
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Morgan: I'm on board, obviously. I also want to say that I'm really glad we're having this third last mission, seeing as I wasn't a part of the other two.

  --  Chuck Versus Sarah [5.12]
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Sarah: This is real? You really love me?
Chuck: With all of my heart.
Sarah: I'm sorry I did my job too well. I have a mission to finish. And I need those glasses.

  --  Chuck Versus Sarah [5.12]
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Chuck: We'll destroy the Intersect once and for all.
Casey: Seems a little drastic.
Chuck: Yeah, well, it is drastic, Casey, but think of all the Intersect is responsible for â€“ my father's death, Volkoff's very existence, Morgan's brain melting, Sarah. Let's just say it's been more bad than good. When my dad found out I had it, he told me to destroy it, and I wish I had, we'd all be better off.

  --  Chuck Versus Sarah [5.12]
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[Casey enters Sarah's apartment]
Casey: Figure I'd find you here. You can put the knife down, I'm not here to fight. What do you remember about me?
Sarah: Your reputation mostly. Unfriendly, unforgiving... and unquestioning about your orders.
Casey: That's funny. When we met, people said the same about you. Probably why we never got along.
Sarah: Well, if we didn't get along, then why are you here?
Casey: [pulls out envelope ] I guess Bartowski's made us both a little soft. [puts envelope on table]  Beckman's got a new job for me... but these past five years, we changed, you know? We became friends. Take care of yourself Walker.

  --  Chuck Versus Sarah [5.12]
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Sarah: (watching herself on video):
Day One. My mission is simple: find out what he knows, gain his trust, and monitor his actions until the agency can decide what to do with him.
Day 21. Chuck came over to my hotel room today and brought me a pizza. Vegetarian, no olives. I think he's making it his mission to get to know me. It's sweet.
Day 49. Chuck broke up with me today. Well, uh, Fake... Fake broke up with me, technically.
Day 56. Chuck I were defusing a bomb today, and there was a moment where we were sure we were going to die. He closed his eyes, and... I kissed him. I... kissed him.
Day 564. Things are calm for once. No missions, nothing... nothing really to report, except I still find myself sitting here, talking to myself, because... because I love him. I love Chuck Bartowski, and I don't know what to do about it.

  --  Chuck Versus Sarah [5.12]
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Morgan: Tell me why you are not returning Alex's phone calls. OK, she is worried sick about you. All she knows is you're gone, running covert missions.
Casey: They call them covert, numbnuts, because you don't tell anyone about them.
Morgan: She's your daughter.
Casey: She's a liability.
Morgan: Wow.
Casey: I didn't mean that, it's just that I have to be ruthless.
Morgan: What about Chuck and Sarah? Liability too? Right. Good. By all means lock 'em up, throw away the key. Lock away your feelings, forget everything that we've been through and you be ruthless.
Casey: You just don't understand, do you? I got soft. I lost my edge.
Morgan: Your team was your edge, you giant jackass. What is wrong with you man? You want to find Quinn, you know who to call. But don't you dare try to blame this on us because you're afraid. That right, you're afraid that when you're with us, that's when you're the best. And that's the truth man!
Casey: Hmmm.
Morgan: That's it, no response or anything?
Casey: Screw it.
Morgan: Screw what, John?
Casey: The court-martial....I'm in.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Casey: Chuck. Chuck, find the porn virus, find it now.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Casey: I gotta go. I can smell it coming. You're gonna get weepy and emotional. I'll just skip that part. I'll see you when I see you, Bartowski, Huh?
Chuck: Goodbye, Casey!
Casey: There's one thing Russians do well - it's give good hugs.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Big Mike: Not a word, boys. Not a word. Things, though, are a-changin'.
(sighs)
New owners moving in.
(Subway sign being installed)
Yep. Looking fresh. I'm gonna be eating fresh. We gotta get back to work.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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German Man: Excuse me. Are you Scheffester!? I saw your performance last night at the Pacific Concert Hall. I'm a very important record executive from Germany. You're gonna be stars there. Women and men will adore you.
Jeff: Women and men?
Lester: Wait... wait a minute. You want us to leave this store?
German Man: Yes. Right now. Come with me.
Lester (quietly): Jeffrey... Are you ready?
Jeff: Let's rock.
German Man: Wunderbar. Come on.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Casey: What's the big surprise? You two moving in together?
Alex & Morgain: We're moving in together!
Morgan: It's not fun with you.
Alex: It was supposed to be a surprise. How did you know?
Casey: Hello? Spy.
Alex: And you're... Happy that we're finally taking this nice, giant step and... ?
Morgan: Or you're going to shoot me?
Casey: Heads up. The place all is yours.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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[Ellie and Awesome are leaving]
Ellie: Aces, Charles. You're aces.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Mary: Sarah. Relax.
Ellie: Chuck, I asked Mom to come... Mom, why is there a gun out?
Mary: (sighs) Sorry, dear, old habits. It's good to see you again, Sarah. My name is Mary.
Captain Awesome: Grandma, what did we say about Baby Clara seeing firearms?
Mary: It's a no-no. I am sorry. Your Mimi loves you.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Chuck: I tried to get her to remember me and it didn't work. I can't get her to fall in love with me again.
Ellie: Chuck, it's clear that we can't force Sarah to remember, but emotions, feelings, those are powerful things. And if you can find Sarah, you can spark some of these memories.
Chuck: Really?
Ellie: She fell in love with you before, Chuck. You can do it again. She'll remember.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Morgan: You're going after Gertrude.
Casey: I was gonna ask you...
Alex: Dad, you don't have to ask.  You deserve to be happy. Go. Run to her.
Morgan: Run to her.
Casey: I'm a Casey, I don't run. I stalk my prey.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Casey: Is that my Desert Eagle? You shot down my helicopter with my own damn gun!

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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General Beckman: Good work team. On behalf of the United States government and the great people we serve, thank you.
Casey: Just happy to be doing good works, ma'am.
General Beckman: I understand this is the end.
Chuck: Yes, it is, General. I think we...
Sarah: It's me. I, um... I need to go find myself.
Casey: We all do.
General Beckman: If you ever want to save the world again, you know where I am.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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Morgan: Kiss her. Grab this woman and kiss her. Just kiss her.
Chuck: That's the whole plan?
Morgan: Yeah, pretty much. And, yes, I've been watching a ton of Disney princess movies with baby Clara, but... I firmly believe, with all my heart, that one magical kiss from you could unlock all of Sarah's memories. I do.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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[The series' last lines]
Chuck: You know, Morgan has this crazy idea.
Sarah: What is it?
Chuck: He thinks that, with one kiss, you'll remember everything.
Sarah: Ha. One magical kiss?
Chuck: Yeah. Ha, ha. exactly. I know, it's...
Sarah: Chuck.
Chuck: Yeah?
Sarah: Kiss me.

  --  Chuck Versus the Goodbye [5.13]
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